Solo (Baluwarti and Kratonan)

Recorded and translated by Tony Green
Edited by Laura Romano and Susanne Klein

Baluwarti, Sun. 31/10/82

On Friday, before I left for the meditation at Pantika Sala hospital, I met with Bu Hadi and Pak Wiryo and experienced a ‘connection’ with Pak Darno, so that during the hospital meditation it was enough just to surrender, to be clean. I have had this experience twice. First time at the time of Pak Purwan’s meditation, because he was spiritually on higher level, we could only follow as a ceremony (this also existed in Pak Darno’s case). We can do nothing. I just let it go. Second time at last Thursday’s meeting, there was something, but I don’t know anything about the spirit’s position (I couldn’t see or experience anything).
Whether a person’s spirit/soul leaves the body at the time of death or later depends on various factors; mainly the service given during his life.
-Q. When Pak Wondo said he was already clean/what does this mean?
-A. ‘He’ has already developed himself. --Service is important, especially because it helps to change the character. In Pak Darno’s case, it was through serving others. This entails suffering but from sacrificing and the ego does not feel satisfied. This is what I mean by ‘bayar’ (payment)
--Q. Why did the Sumarah members show a reluctance to meditate over Pak Darno’s corpse at the hospital?
--A. It’s up to themselves. According to me, it’s only meditation. It’s a lesson. With that experience, we become more mature. The lesson is the sometimes we can accompany the ‘journey of the soul’ and at other times, we just ‘let go’. We may receive energy through our own True Teacher for purpose that our spirit may follow the process but this is not for the ‘I’. This message, while received through our true teacher, still holds a lesson for the ego. I only tried to be empty, aware and calm, even if there didn’t seem to be ‘isi’ (contents).
----If you feel your meditation is good for two days and then not good for some days, don’t feel frustrated. Don’t be pessimistic try to keep enthusiasm. Frustration breeds anger, which heightens the frustration. That is the law, sometimes we can do meditation sometimes not. If the intention is strong then although there are ups and downs, they will be different.
--Don’t continually ask, but rather be grateful. Know your goodness (morals).
--We need a pamong who is ‘cocok’(suitable). That is not the pamong who gives satisfaction but the one who is ‘cocok’(although we may not find him pleasant). In my case, the advantage is that I did not try to escape. I would be angry, but I would not run. Good is not necessarily correct and correct is not necessarily tepat (exact) and exact is not necessarily reality. So that often what is good for the spirit (jiwa) is not good for the ego (aku), e.g. Sickness is not pleasant for the ego but for the spirit it may be a releasing. Don’t protest against your situation.


-Don’t hurry.    
Allaaaaaaah (7 times)
-Just tries to follow the process with your awareness.
-Don’t forget to be grateful for whatever level you are at.
-Be thankful for the tools that push, support or help us to be together in worshipping God, and through nature we are enable to increase our realization of God Almighty.
-With awareness continues to be thankful. 
Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Actually, we are not aware enough, because if we are grateful and truly accept everything then we are not alone. Sometimes, it’s only our ego that doesn’t consider the goodness in others. Often our desires do not want to follow the process. First, being peaceful, make a compromise with your tools then your meditation will become ‘new’. Often, if we are just thankful, then we will be given enthusiasm, progress, in this deepening process. So we must respect all tools (in ourselves and in others).
----The attitude of respect is reciprocal, in that it is not only the ego which respects the tools but also vice-versa, because in meditation all the tools work together, one is not obstructing another. The tools can be enemies or friends and the goal is one; meditation.
----The ego is also a tool of nature. Our intention is expressed through the ego and some tools will accept that while others won’t. The thoughts or feelings or desires wish to obstruct the process, so we must be united first. This is difficult to explain.
----If I do something, and it is wrong -- so be it. But try not to make that same mistake again. What is wrong is to make a mistake on purpose (ngliru).
--Q. If we are to be thankful for our tools, we can also be thankful for the ego; thus there is an inner ego which is thankful. What’s the difference between these two egos?
--A. For example, ‘I want to sleep’ (here is the splitting) and there is a part that doesn’t want to sleep. Because there is still a separate-split wish. But if there is a compromise they will become one. One is influenced by the tools, the other (ego) not. This is also the difference between will and intention.
----Sometimes we are happy, sometimes unhappy. Sometimes are healthy, sometimes are ill. The world is like that. Sometimes I get along with my friends, sometimes not, and the physical body is also like that. It is a friend, which we sometimes get along with, and sometimes not. But if we are not getting along with our friends, that we can escape from them, but how do we run away from physical body. This is the reality, which we experience through out our lives.
For example, sometimes I can meditate and sometimes not. That is usual. If we find a number of times pass by and we still can’t meditate, although disappointed is a natural reaction the first time, we should search for the reason for being unable to meditate. Perhaps it is anger or another emotion. And if the meditation is good, also try to find out why. Find out the condition necessary for good meditation. Find out the connection with your daily state.
----For example, last night I couldn’t sleep because of the heat. At twelve o’clock I wanted to sleep, but was unable to. My desire was to sleep, because the next morning I wanted to awake at four o’clock to play tennis, even though I still had the traces of flu. Finally at two o’clock I slept and awoke at four o’clock, because of the promise I had already made with myself. However, I knew that my body was not up to tennis, because of sickness and lack of sleep, so I didn’t attempt it. This is the problem that is difficult, when we have a very intense pleasure, which also happens to be forbidden, because of an existing condition. We must weigh the positive and negative aspects, and it is difficult because the ego doesn’t like to deny pleasure. At that time, 4 a.m. I was unable to sleep again until the following afternoon, because my desire had been denied and of course, was not happy with the result. So the problem is not being able to play tennis, but being able to unite that part of the ego, which wishes to fulfill the desires with that part which knows best for you.


-Don’t go directly into a meditation but adjust yourself first to the standing position, because the body needs time to adjust to the change in the blood flow, heart and nervous system.
-Allaaaaaaah (5 times).
Don’t control the meditation, even if it is pleasant. Let go – be together with the others, don’t hold on to your concept. Just follow the process and you will receive an experience. Pak Hardo told me that I must let go of my own meditation. As long as your intention is correct, don’t be afraid of making mistakes. It is very important to want to adjust to the situation. Don’t close yourself off. Quite often it is not pleasant at all, but that is the lesson.
- Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.


Kratonan, Wed.3-11-1982

-Try to relax the physical body as comfortably as possible. Don’t be disturbed in your posture.
-Allaaaaaaah (3 times)
The physical body is here. The feelings are here. Try, through attention, to bring the thoughts here. Then, using the tools of thought, feeling, and attention; all the desires are one, aimed towards God.
-Allaaaaaaah (9 times)
Try to relax the head area by lessening the activity, then the attention is placed in the whole body. Our attention widens to encompass the whole body until the feet, and is not concentrated in any particular area.
-Allaaaaaaah (20times)
-Don’t tries to feel the atmosphere now, but just feel it. Continue the relaxation-process.
Allaaaaaaah(3 times)
Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

-Q. what was your experience at the moment, I asked you to just feel the atmosphere?
----We should be able to meditate in any position whatsoever, however at the beginning we can seek a position, which is comfortable. Because our emotion (ambition etc.) are stored in the frontal area, we should try to settle to the back (the body is straight) to just feel the atmosphere. The emotion first must be open, to be able to settle to the back.
- The releasing of emotion can be achieved through confession or contemplation, then there will be realization, which will create a parallel and release any conflict. However, by using force, that conflict may only become hidden in the solar plexus region.
-Don’t be tight, i.e. loosen up. Allow the feet to be wide enough apart to support the body comfortably. The channel is downwards. Our attention is in the whole body and not only in the head-area. This meeting is one with me. There is no difference.
-Allaaaaaaah (2 times)
-Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t force.
-Allaaaaaaah(6 times)
-Using the feelings, be grateful to God and confess your shortcomings, those parts not yet in balance. Because we are always tied to the law of Nature.
-Allaaaaaaah(2 times)
Don’t allow the thought to stray.
-Allaaaaaaah(2 times)
-If you can completely relax, it will also influence your state of health, because the life-energy is not disturbed. The blood flow, heart and nervous system will function correctly.
-Allaaaaaaah(15 times)
- Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

The start can begin with the intention, but it is most important, that we free ourselves from our concepts and opinions and adjust using our tools. Everything is a tool of nature. If we hold concepts, then there cannot be unity and an obstruction exists. If there are no concepts, if we are really free, then there is oneness-sameness. That is balance. If the pressure inside and outside is not the same, then there is still a separation from nature. But if you are one, then the process happens of its own accord. While the aim is, to be united, we each follow at our own level. Some experiences, while appearing different, are actually the same. While others have experiences, that appears the same, but are actually different. While others have experiences, that are indeed different.
----When we experience-feel a common energy, if we are only sensitive, then it may be an obstruction. But if we are also selective, we can let it go, and just observe the phenomena.
----A standing-meditation is more respective for the flow downwards than a sitting meditation. If you meditate a lying-position, don’t use a pillow.
-Fear arises through lack of relaxation, so, in situations, which easily arouse fear (i.e. accidents, exams) allow the mental activity to have a centre in the stomach-area, and not the feelings centered in the head-area.
----One advantage of meditation is, that good vibrations are recorded in the place they happen in, enabling us to meditate more easily in a church, mosque, and even this pendopo. And in those places, where the vibrations are not pleasant, it is our duty to try to change those vibrations, so they are better. And the radius of influence naturally depends on the strength of the vibrations.
-Without being “fanatic”, we cannot be active. There will not be energy of enthusiasm, and by being “fanatic”, we will be closed, and our perceptions cannot be broad.
-The “Law of the stomach” is such, that if we meditate, we should not regard our activities as only those of social charity-welfare, but we must carry out our business-ventures in a business-like manner, i.e. to make a profit, so as to serve the “Law of the stomach”. We have a duty to take care of the “Law of the stomach”, as well as the path meditation.
-We study to open our attitude to life. If we perform a positive action, then the reaction will also be positive. And vice-versa.
-Most situations where emotions arise; embarrassment, sadness etc., happen at a time of conflict inside, but that is normal. After the event, we should reflect on what happened and ask ourselves, “What caused the embarrassment, sadness?” That is important. And later you will change your attitude to the situation, should it arise again. Conserves energy, don’t waste it.
-For example, if we need to lie, it should be with an attitude of service - in the case of a doctor - and not for our own gratification.
-Our feelings require sacrifice and should not be used as a means of occupying-possessing someone (as love is often used). For example, we often express love for someone if they fulfill our own requirements. This shows love of oneself is greater than the professed love of another. Often those who do not love themselves and as suicides through despair and hating themselves.
-Sometimes daily meditation is better than special meditation, because we can lessen our ambition and emotion without conscious effort.



Baluwarti, Sun.7.11.82


First try to become one with me in the meditation.
Whether it is on purpose or not, train yourself to be one, to adjust, with the situation around you. So that later, you won’t be unduly influenced by that around you – you can know and understand that you and within yourself.

Just follow the process, so that the attention can be throughout the whole body.
Being grateful can widen your attention-awareness.
Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Q. Generally, what was felt about a fifth before the end of that meditation?
-Earlier today, as a proof for those present at that time, I asked God to give a cool atmosphere to our meeting, (because the day was extremely hot) and the proof was that those attending the meeting could feel the difference in temperature.
----Bu Wondo, since youth has always been the same, but sometimes, I view her as my enemy, my friend, my mother and sometimes my slave, but really she remains the same. Sometimes I give an order and she doesn’t want to follow it, so I become angry as I would with a slave. Sometimes, I view her as my lover, particularly at the beginning with pleasure, and after a time without that pleasure, but Bu Wondo remains the same. My response changes, because my attitude is different. If I feel happy, then I consider her in a happy context. But if I am angry, I consider her as my enemy. Before, the situation was like this. Try to be one with the situation-environment. We train not only for what is pleasant, not only for what we want.
----Try to strengthen the intention, so later all the other tools, including thought, will follow. The intention involves thought and feeling.
----For example, although I am not smoking yet, my subconscious still occasionally asks for cigarettes. Even in my dream, I was offered a cigarette, but I didn’t want it. However sometimes I still want it. Although in an awake state I don’t desire cigarettes, in my dreams it is not so certain.
----For example, if we follow something (instruction, intention) for a later resulting happiness, and it does not happen, then we will feel suffering. But also when we follow we may suffer first, but later receive happiness. Viewing the state of others is normal.
-For example, I was afraid of my weakness (i.e. the sex problem) and although nothing was acted upon, I was really afraid, and the sense of suffering, I had been experiencing. However, my desire for food not yet been overcome. If I eat too much, my whole body becomes tense. The level of cholesterol increase and so does the tension.
----Don’t try to postpone the Law of Nature, so as well as paying attention to the spiritual state, we must also pay attention to the physical state. Be disciplined.

Try to continue with the state you are in, don’t try to start afresh. Try to follow your own meditation without a human guide.
--- Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

---Continue the communication inside and you will receive much knowledge, then this knowledge won’t be empty, but in the form of a system to help us in dealing with our activities. Ask and you will receive a system of remembering. Ask for the “way out” of your difficulties. For example, this morning I felt sick and had diarrhea and I think “what is this?” Because I needed to go out of town. On the journey it would be difficult with diarrhea, so I asked for energy to help, and I left, although there still was a fear (from thought) as to whether the diarrhea would continue to bother me, and in fact, it didn’t.
---In the line of service-duty, if you ask for a helping energy, quite often, you will receive it. If you ask only for yourself, then an appropriate “payment” will be required of you. However, if it is strengthen your belief, you may ask-the result being magic-miracle.




 -If you are not strong just sit down. Don’t force.
 -Relax completely. Don’t allow any disturbances.
  Allaaaaaaah    (12 times)

 -Surrender the feelings, and open yourself.
 -Continue on this direction according to your own condition and situation. Be aware and don’t lose this state. Just follow the process.


-Great expectations are what often block or slow down the process. An expectation may be used for the beginning, but then nature guides the process, not man. However, man finds it difficult to exist without expectations. You may have desires (will), but not too excessive, as these will also hinder the process. You daydream (focus on the wish/desire) and this lessens awareness.
 -Know your own limits and ask for advice (from God) on how to act/behave. We believe we have our own thoughts, feelings and knowledge but be aware how limited these are. God will provide help/advice through nature or other people.


 -“Rindu dendam” is a longing/desire for a state (feeling) – eg. ‘I am happy in my hatred, anger, sadness ….”
 -For example, during my courting years, if I couldn’t meet my girlfriend I felt angry and then often when I could meet her, I also felt angry. Often when we are away from our loved ones, we miss them; however, on our return, we don’t feel love at all. (in fact often the opposite.---is this my wife or my enemy?
 -There are three levels of marriage.
 Physical marriage; Feeling marriage; Spiritual marriage.
 -In Javanese culture, when these three levels have been reached, the two spirits, (husband – wife) become one. If you suffer, I also suffer; if you are sad, I am also sad. But in the past, when my wife was sad, I was often angry with her for shattering my happiness with her problems. But also remember, sadness shared lessens the burden.
 -‘Rindu dendam’ is an attitude of wanting things around you to fit into your own value-system. I enjoy those things about my wife, which bring happiness, but refuse to accept her weakness. All perceptions in life have negative and positive aspects. If we can unite the negative with the positive, then ‘rindu dendam’ won’t exist. Learn to forgive yourself and forgive others. Often, if you won’t forgive others, you won’t forgive yourself.
 -‘Rindu dendam’ often applies to the self, e.g. We become so angry with ourselves because of failure that we become sick. We hate ourselves for not reaching an expectation. We consider success as positive and failure as negative.

    Baluwarti, Sun.14.11.82

I’m studying the process, really, I’m not neutral… then-in answer to your question- it was spontaneous-right or wrong- it’s up to you. There isn’t a feeling that follows spontaneous. Really, I, my person didn’t want to answer, because my feeling wasn’t yet neutral, but because there was a spontaneous answer, yeah, I did it. I really ran away, put my attention into Mr. D to shift my attention first. The way is the same, I wasn’t able to, so that I couldn’t discuss the lesson. I asked Darjata about his house, where he is going to move to….. the continuation was the answer to your question, but really I ran, escaped. Before, I escaped, so that I could change my attention.
Q. : How do you know if it’s suitable to run or if it is suitable to continue, be direct. Like yesterday, I had a very strong feeling…..
Wondo : Yeah, before it was like that, very strong, after you can’t meditate you can’t ask, you can’t become neutral….yeah finished ……if you can’t acknowledge it (confess) if you can’t, you can’t. But I have to be honest, then they will be pleased. Sometimes you have a spontaneous answer, it’s not like I continually run, no.
Q.: Sometimes you run, because you’re not brave. Yesterday, I was confused. Was it because I wasn’t able to meet (face) this feeling again, or was it correct, that I wasn’t strong enough to face that feeling again. I ran away first, but my question is that was it that I really wasn’t strong enough, or that I really brave enough. I still don’t know.
Wondo : The problem not being strong or not being brave; the result is that the problem will come back again. Finished, yeah. Because later, for example, we are not strong or brave, later sometimes the result is that it takes too long. If we run, it will come back…to face the problem.
(Private checking)
Q. What is the way to follow another person’s feelings? Like the other day I wanted to follow Pak K’s feeling.
Wondo: Meditate, flash on the other person, let go.
Q. But what was I missing when I tried to follow Pak K’s feeling?
Wondo: You were not open.
Q. What about for checking?
Wondo: It’s really the same, but checking is one special moment…but it’s really the same.
Let’s prepare first. Try to prepare first for the meditation by relaxing your physical body first. The way of doing this relaxation is confessing to ourselves, becoming aware, feeling that we own our whole body completely, we are not only a head, and we are the whole body. Because of this, our attention should be all over our body.
Allaaaaaaah …Try to be here completely with your thought, your feelings, with your entire physical body.
…. Make your attention wider, so that you can reduce the concentration or another way to say this is to try to make the tension inside yourself and the tension outside yourself in balance.
Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Later, if you can really relax, your breathing will not be disturbed or regulated, not artificial. Even though the breathing is slight it is enough for the needs of your physical body. Try to continue with your daily meditation when you are finished with your special meditation. You should continue your daily meditation…don’t forget it.
What was your experience during the previous meditation?
A.: I couldn’t breath…heavy. Was it from my condition or from the outside (two people had the same experience)
Pak Wondo: Take it as a lesson. If you had or have an experience during this or any meditation and you don’t know if this coming from yourself or from the outside condition or vibration…take it as the same. If it is from outside or from the inside it is the same. A lesson for you  how to learn to make a balance between inside you and outside you. In fact, during the meditation you should have tried to balance between the outside and the inside. It’s my own lesson  too, sometimes you don’t want to accept. Like the question before, I didn’t accept it. It’s difficult to lose it, to be free of it. My head wanted to, but my feelings didn’t, I wasn’t complete. Although the question or condition was about protest. You must first accept protest (even though protest is not the correct position). Later it will be lost or released by itself. For example, the energy was strong. It’s not a question of strong or not strong. It’s a question of receiving or not. Sometimes I can defend myself, I can’t accept something, because of the vibes or energy is very strong…that’s not the point. Just before I was not alert enough, so I got that problem. Usually, when we do this, we will blame others. Before the problem was from outside, but when you have an explosion inside, it’s the same. Just for the past few days I’ve been going through this…it’s difficult. If it’s from the subconscious, it’s from the outside, I, myself. It looks like it’s from the inside, but really it’s from the outside…outside, I or my ego. Yeah, it looks like me, but I say my thoughts are not me, but you (like another). Although all are in the body, I say are me, but if I say my thought are you, like another, or my feelings, are you, like another. I must say I-complete-all-entire, like you don’t have a conflict or anything, complete. The majority sometimes is broken, splintered. For example, wants to go to two places, it is like you become two…you must be one. It looks like you can split, but really you can’t…you must be one. Sometimes we don’t pay attention to these small things, but they are important. One part wants to sleep, one part doesn’t. You become angry to yourself because you are not one. Maybe I keep quiet, I want to sleep, but inside there is a conflict. One part of me wants to meditate, one part is sleepy, I can’t meditate, and one forces the other. Later you won’t have a good meditation. You must make a compromise. Later you won’t have conflict. You will have peace. If at night I want to meditate, it’s like I contemplate at first…I ask, do you want to meditate or not? If not, why?…etc… Later I have peace. If I want, I want it completely, entirely, all; if not…not. If not there is a consequence, but you must be complete…not to blame yourself. This was my answer to the question before (at the time I couldn’t answer) spontaneous. Before I couldn’t get clear…yeah…finished…I couldn’t. Sometimes the situation or condition helps me, and later the answer comes.
Q.: Pak Wondo, if for example Pak Wondo doesn’t want to accept or receive my feeling of protest, this is in general, is it because you are not neutral or influenced by the feeling of protest.
Pak Wondo: No. I was not prepared or alert, cautious or aware. We study to become really ordinary people. If you are an ordinary person you also experience difficulties and happiness; you experience sickness and health. But in general, mankind asks to become extraordinary, not usual. Like if possible, never sad, never sick. Nature gives us nighttime, sometimes; sometimes daytime. I like to ask it not to happen in the night. It’s usual to ask, but impossible to get. If possible, now I want to do things not only when it is convenient, but also at all times.
Now try, those who can, try to be one with me. If I’m wrong, it’s OK…Say my condition is not good. It’s your exercise, practice, like before. Later you can ask why it is not good. So, if our friends here can experience to become one with me, they can open and see my own experiences come out. Like maybe you can find or see a way out of your own situations, by watching the way I do it. For example, if you accept me as your teacher and you are the pupils, later you can become the teacher. Maybe later you become a better teacher than I do. Because I am an elementary teacher, later you can become high school teacher….it’s possible. Here we don’t have teachers and students. Really we study together…..free. Try to keep your daily meditation…don’t forget it as a way to prepared…if it’s possible, continually.
Q.: with my situation as it is, can I feel Pak Wondo’s condition know?
Pak Wondo: Really your condition has changed from before…feeling, your feeling is different from before. I ask you, what is the change from before…now…don’t think. Sometimes I want to please (encourage) the feeling, and if you use your thoughts one can’t feel. Feel first…really now it’s better, it’s more comfortable. Where is your dizziness, confusion now…where? But when you look and look, your dizziness will come back, later. Sometimes you don’t feel. When you look for the feeling, you’re already thinking and it comes back. For example, you think I don’t like…and it comes back again. Yeah, like now, I feel good…I’m not confused anymore. How come, I’m not confused? Ah, it comes back again. Go into your physical body.
According to you, what’s wrong with your meditation?
A.: It was you, who I wanted to ask.
Pak Wondo: Your stomach was not free enough. That is what is not let go enough, the other part is good. Try to cut down your ambition. To neutralize, try like this meditation. If the result is good or not good, yeah, up to you. So that if it’s good or not, say, I will try to make it good, but sometimes it’s good, and sometimes it’s not. Yeah, it’s hard. It’s not easy to do what I say. Yeah if it isn’t too heavy, if it is…say, okay, that’s my limit. For example, at the time Bu Wondo was sick, I couldn’t, yeah, finished. But if it is a small matter, not heavy, try.

 Relax first Allaaaaaaah…let’s stand up, but really relax…Allaaaaaaah…don’t do anything, only just follow…the energy that is received, the direction of the electricity…so we only follow the will of nature, and through that we find the balance by itself. Allaaaaaaah…
Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Later, you will find the balance of yourself. At that time I wasn’t allowed. Sometimes. Sometimes not. What was your experience during that meditation? I don’t know.
Q.: In the second meditation I couldn’t let go.
Pak Wondo: You still have a want. Don’t let go, just acknowledge it. If you let go you do something, just acknowledge…oh this, oh just this. It will let go by itself. If you let go of it, it will not let go.



Kratonan, Nov.17-11-82

 If you change the negative or positive aspects of your character, later that will influence your spirituality and everything else including intelligence. Usually if you face your problems or lesson you are in a hurry or panic but with calmness and patience although a longer period of time is needed, the answer is more certain (surer), patience is not being slow, but being calm.

Q.: How does one become selective if one is already sensitive?
 A.: How does one play tennis well? Practice. The difficulty of being sensitive to situations is that you are easily influenced by your own concepts or involvement in that situation. To become selective you must train yourself to change your character. Remember everything in this world has a negative and positive value. During daily meditation we should not try to control. If we are already sensitive or are aware of our rejections, ambitions, intolerance etc. that is the proof from reality of our condition, but we should not try to do anything to that reality, except be aware.

 Q.:  If we are to remember our condition, is there a danger that too much remembering will control our daily meditation?
 A.:  If you are angry, than be angry first and use the tool of  ‘remembering’ (awareness) afterwards to correct your position. But don’t be angry on purpose. The mistake is if you already know, but still do something on purpose, just to achieve satisfaction. But be honest with yourself. If something, (emotion) has arisen spontaneously, use the tool of awareness to ask forgiveness so that your character may change.

Baluwarti, Sun.21.11.82

-Q. How do we know our limits?
-A. Can we overcome all problems or not? Can all problems that you have ever experienced be overcome or not? That’s reality. Don’t just surrender to your problems, but try to deal with them. Your lack is your endeavor.

 -- I can confess my stupidity and weakness to myself, but if another were to point out those same weaknesses could I be really thankful for that person reminder? Is there anger? This is where, what is expressed, and what is done, differ.
 -- This is the lie I tell myself. To be able to accept completely is the problem. To accept from others, my children, my wife, etc.
 For example, I have been married to Bu Wondo for 31 years. So I already know her character. Then why is it that I can’t completely accept that? I myself must change. Why are there moments when I love her and moments when I regard her as an enemy? I have four children. Why do I love some more than others? They are all my children.
 I can’t become one with my wife. No, it’s not that I don’t want to; it’s just that I can’t. She is a woman, I am a man – our pleasures are different. And although I confess my own weakness and ask my wife to remind me of my mistakes and deficiencies when they occur, I still become angry. Because when you apologize or ask forgiveness, how deep is that request? Is it complete?
 For example, earlier this afternoon when I wanted to rest, 2 guests came, and although I was polite on the outside, there was rejection inside because I felt I needed rest. They had come from village 65 km from there by motorcycle, and began to explain their problems concerning illness and being childless. At that moment, I received something, which became not a reluctant ego, but a service. Where as the ego had closed off before, now it was open and serving.
 So my system, if there is some rejection, is to place the intention into the physical body, and the thoughts, but not into the feelings. Let the feelings go. If they want to reject, don’t hold or try to change that.
 For example, if I have a conflict with my wife, I allow my feelings to be and try to follow my attention and promise to myself. Then I remember my duty, my intention, etc. I don’t try to maneuver into a correct position, because sometimes she may be right and sometimes I may be right, but rather first into a position of peace/neutral. Whether you are right or wrong is not important. A position of kindness is.
 Our attitude is important. With my own family and at work in the office, if I try to change a conflict, which is occurring, it will soon be replaced by something else which becomes a conflict. Don’t try to change that which is happening on the outside, but work on the attitude to that situation.
 - When advice is given in these meeting try to grasp the meaning not only with thought but also with feeling. If the advice cannot be understood when using thought then that advice will be quickly lost. But if feelings are used, although the understanding of the advice may escape you at the time it is given, perhaps one, two, or ten years in the future that advice will be able to be received when an understanding emerges.
 So we try to receive advice that is given through daily meditation. Daily meditation means being in condition of being able to receive information from the outside.

Try to be truly aware of yourself, the weakness being that we try to defend our concepts and opinions. If possible confess to yourself that others can make mistakes, and don’t just confess on the outside, but also the inside. With a true confession there won’t be any rejection inside.

 If you can accept turmoil or disturbance then that turmoil will disappear. But finding the way to accept is difficult. Confess your condition first and then ask how you can overcome that condition. It is a form of contemplation and sometimes spontaneity arises that gives a system for acting/behaving. In daily meditation we confess our state, and later a strong intention will bring about change.
 For example, I have one child, whom I hated and for three years was enable to speak to, until I became angry with my wife over the boldness of that child. But it was not until I blamed myself for the lack of communication, and not the child that a change happened. The child doesn’t know; doesn’t understand – it is I who must change. The problem being we want to see our own resemblance (face) in our children. And to find a method of acceptance we ask for a way, which is as easy as possible for each of us. Not something that is too high. Change will come slowly and experience is our best teacher.

 Sometimes I don’t believe the advice I give or am given, but reality shows the correctness of the advice, so we must try to strengthen our belief. Don’t get angry or disappointed with advice because reality will bear out the validity of that advice.
 -This atmosphere now can help us. Continue with this into a meditation on your own.

  Allaaaaaaah     (11 times)

 For those who have finished the special meditation continue into a daily meditation. Don’t force.

  Allaaaaaaah     (3 times)

  Rahayu  -  Rahayu  -  Rahayu.

 Remember if you receive advice, it is a reality that will prove the validity of that advice. If you wish to correct my advice, please go ahead even if it means I become disappointed.

 If you wish to change something, (attitude, habit, etc.) make a promise first, and even if you can’t follow that promise it doesn’t matter, because that promise contains energy; and this energy can later help – but often the ego is disappointed. To strengthen your intention, make a promise although the ego is not in full agreement. For example, if I am invited to come to Tony’s place at a certain time and I promise to come, then later I am reluctant to go or have another need to attend to (which is not really important). I will go to Tony’s because of the promise although I don’t really want to. The ego will experience disappointment and suffering, but after some time, through the promise, change will come naturally.
 If you are afraid to make a promise to yourself, then ask why. Why are you brave to lie, but not brave to tell the truth. For example, before, when I was angry, I was brave to lie, to sin to accept any karma, but why wasn’t I brave to do/say good? Strange, isn’t it? We are brave to do bad, but not good.


 Q. What cause the direction of my meditation to rise rather than go down?
 A.  It’s because your different tools are not strong. You are disturbed by thought and that affects the other tools. It draws the attention upwards. Try not to analyze. Try to be more complete with your feelings. All tools, including thought should be a part of your awareness. Don’t separate any of your tools from the field of awareness.

 Q.  Was there a change in my attitude yesterday afternoon at five o’clock?
 A.  There was a wish for change but it was not yet stable. For example, if I want a change, it’s first –‘yeah!’, but that’s not sure it will result in change. The ‘yeah’ should be unqualified; i.e. without any ‘buts’. If you fully commit yourself to the ‘yeah’ there will be heaviness. It’s up to you.
 If a problem has gone/disappeared, don’t look to see where it’s gone or you will draw back again.


 If you have been given a sign or indication in a certain direction, don’t force it. The ego forces and can result in illness, which the body doesn’t notice clearly. Be aware of all tools. Realize the limits of your tools, especially the body. Relax completely to take care of the body, to be able to release unnecessary energy, and keep that energy which is needed.
 Try to be in balance. Experience balance. Ask nature to help. For example, if I go to climb a hill, I rest first. Try to develop feeling. When you start a car, you don’t keep turning the ignition if it’s already on. You then use the gears, and leave the starter alone.



Be free. Just try to follow with your awareness.

        Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)
Don’t go against the flow just follow the flow.
 Relax; open the head area, so that the channel of energy, and help from gravity can be felt more clearly.
 The way to be open is to be non-active in the head area. In order to be non-active, the attention is downwards. The way is to feel the feet, or the whole body. To feel is not to think, but just to ‘remember’ the feet. And to remember, not think, is via the back (head).

Allaaaaaaah     (28 times)


Slowly …….

 When I suggested to Wolfgang not to force his tools, it depends on his condition and situation. Sometimes the tools lie to each other, so it is through awareness that you realize this. The tools should be one. For example, if the feelings are tired but the body is not, then you won’t be able to fulfill what you want to do. So through contemplation and consensus you can achieve unity. Realize that you cannot leave anything behind, they must be united. This advice needs to be experienced. The tools become united, separated, united, separated….. At the time the tools are separated. It’s okay, but don’t create any conflict. Often separation is because of a lack of being parallel with your situation, and that causes a conflict, an opposition; but if you can remain parallel with your situation, although the tools are separated there is no conflict.
 This is difficult to explain with example. I have often experienced in these meetings in the past that the advise given was premature, nature helped to bring the message home, although that process is longer and that advice needs to be repeated several times.
 -Try to lessen the sense of being angry with yourself. Particularly if you cannot meditate, don’t become angry.

 Special meditation is the theory.
 Daily meditation is the practice.
 -Try not to let your ego become the leader. It’s just another too; equal with the other tools.

Kratonan, Wed. 24.11.82

 At that moment before there was an energy, and it was the energy of duty. I have often spoken about duty, and that was the energy. I felt a breadth, wideness, then I didn’t feel anything, except a spontaneity which said this was the energy of duty. Sometimes I’m not satisfied and don’t believe these spontaneities myself. Why? Because it is not only for me. If it’s for me then I can feel something. I ask if it’s correct or not. But if there’s no warning, (i.e. a sudden change in feelings etc.) then I ‘know’ the advice is correct. If the advice is through words, then it is clear, but if it’s through feelings then I must be careful and ask myself again. If it’s still not clear, then I ask so that the advice may be relayed through words. It’s like a constant dialogue, because I’m not clever to receive the advice. This also helps to strengthen the bonds of communication within.
 A pleasant meditation is not wrong, except when that pleasantness draws you away from the rules of life, which direct what is correct action for you.


Q. (Laura):  How is my daily meditation now?

 A.  It’s not wrong, however it’s incomplete because it’s not real enough. It lacks truth/seriousness. Sometimes you want to escape.
…………………don’t be like this. This is what I mean by escaping…………….

 Q. (Joe)   : Could you check my special meditation between 3.30 and 4.00 this afternoon.

 A. The direction is correct. Now continue that into daily meditation. If you don’t, you will continually go back and forth. And that is only looking for what is nice.

 Q. (Tony) : If emotions arise, how can we control these emotions without forcing them back into the subconscious?

 A.  It’s better if emotion arise (from the sub-conscious) not to let them go outside, because they will hit others and reap karma for you. That karma will return to you. And if the emotions are not broken up in that space between sub-conscious and the outside, then they will enter the sub-conscious again only to erupt at later time. That space is outside the inner, and inside the outer (di luarnya dalam, di dalamnya luar). Contemplation is the way to break up these emotions. By asking what is your intention, your aim, what are the dangers, the risks.
 If you say to yourself, don’t be angry….don’t be angry, then that anger will become hidden. It will enter the subconscious again.
 The way of contemplation needs time. Several times. As with the cow, which regurgitates its food. It’s not such a pleasant process.

 Q. (Laura)  : Please check my meditation this afternoon, 4.30 to 5.00 p.m.

 A.  It’s still lacking. Try not to separate the ‘I’ from the other tools. It’s as if you were another person. The reason is because you are not parallel. If something is wrong don’t blame what is outside, don’t blame another, but accept the blame yourself. Later, you will be free of this.


 - Just follow what is happening. Don’t try to judge whether it is right or wrong.
 - Just be comfortable. Don’t be in a hurry. Allow your body, feelings, thought and attention to be here.

Allaaaaaaah    (5 times)

 - Don’t allow the thoughts to be active. The way to do this is to channel the thoughts into the feelings so that you are able to feel the physical body.
 - And there is no difference between the meeting and me, because the aim and intention are common, i.e. to surrender to God.

Allaaaaaaah    (3 times)

- In meditation, we try to adjust our tools according to our intention and aim.

Allaaaaaaah   (9 times)

 - Try to be aware of the change in the atmosphere now. Don’t look for it.

Allaaaaaaah   (16 times)

Allaaaaaaah   (13 times)

Rahayu  -  Rahayu  -  Rahayu.


 Pay attention to the well being of your physical body. For that reason we must control our pleasure. Don’t feel you can meditate indefinitely.


             Just meditate in your own,

             Relax ………….. Relax.

Allaaaaaaah   (11 times)

[Javanese language]

Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)

 Bring your attention here, so that it is in your whole body, particularly the chest area.
 This meditation is for the health of all people ……………

Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)



 Sometimes we are given something from God through nature. What is it needed for? That is important. Sometimes the mind cannot find an answer. Many of the experiences I have  been given I have not believed in.


 At the beginning it’s okay to have expectations. But as you progress, you should not have,  (and won’t be allowed to have) expectations. You can expect something, but don’t force. Don’t force your ideals.


 Remember that the essence is one, and language is only a way of expression.


 When we truly relax we can also feel the pores breathing. Although we know this is true, we feel very strange if we feel it. We are surprised by our experiences and find them difficult to explain. Words are so inadequate in explaining experiences. For example, how do you explain the experience (the taste) of salt? Yes, it’s a white crystal, it’s no bitter, not sweet; it’s salty! That’s the problem in explaining experiences. So it’s necessary that when I’m explaining that there is a communication other than words. A communication through feeling. Communication through neutrality, through harmony.

 Be grateful to God. Because if we are grateful we will be given something. For example, my child would not believe the things I told him. If I forced the situation he would become afraid. We cannot force. We can be grateful to God when something is given so that the problem is overcome. For the child at school, although he knows the way to succeed, he is limited by his talent. Trying to force him will only cause him to become crazy. We must know all our talents and most importantly our limits. However, don’t lose the sense of seriousness. Our belief comes from our true center (hati nurani), not from outside, so we cannot force others to believe in something.

 Although we still converse, we try to continue with daily meditation – and it is a good lesson for you to correct me (as the pamong). Even pamongs make mistakes, and they are in this position because of a certain specialty they posses. Remember we are all here to learn. Don’t feel it’s impolite to question someone in a higher position.

 If advice given to you is difficult to understand or grasp, try to check with your own meditation, because I’ve already mentioned how difficult it is using words to express feeling.

 I feel gratitude to God, so that when I make a mistake I will be reminded of it. That is the lesson of meditation. To be reminded of mistakes. And the next time that mistakes occur, I will be given a way to overcome it. For example, when I gave the special meditation for my nephew/niece I was reluctant, as if my emotions were involved. I was afraid to begin, and then not sure if I was correct.

 My ego functions as a tool, and also as receiver of instructions from the true source. This is what I am thankful for. So I reminded through that ego, for example, not to be stubborn/obstinate. I still make requests to God and often feel disappointed. But the problem is not the ego, but being able to receive the energy. So it doesn’t matter if the belief in something is there or not, this has often been the situation in my case. Don’t become angry if the belief is lacking.

 For example, yesterday at a meeting in Colomadu with Pak Kasno, there was a need for duty/service, and it was handed over to me. Then I received advice from inside that told me it wasn't’ my duty. I told Pak Kasno, it was his duty, not mine. Then i left. I was not allowed to be involved. We should heed these spontaneities even if the ego feels disappointed. This voice from inside comes from a pure space, it is the voice of ethics, and reality shows it should be followed.

 For example, last Sunday I returned to my house in the early afternoon and wanted to rest before the meeting in Baluwarti. Two guests came from Jatisono, 65 km from Solo, and although on the outside I was polite and friendly, inside my ego felt disappointment and rejection. However, spontaneity arose that it was my duty to serve, and at that moment the disappointment and rejection disappeared.

 And the proof at the Colomadu meeting was that Pak Kasno was able to fulfill the particular request (a request for healing water), where as if I had stayed that may not have happened. Don’t be afraid to correct someone in a ‘higher position’ if you receive spontaneity; because in my case if I don’t listen to my spontaneities I become restless and get headaches. It is a warning for me not to be stubborn. If my ego feels strong to follow its own path, then the reminders I receive will be stronger. And if you continually don’t submit to these warnings then the communication that has been developed within will break down, and that reminder will disappear. And it is often difficult for the rational mind to accept this inside advice. The mind becomes hesitant and weakens the belief system. We must learn to obey what often does not seem rational.
 -Try to continue with your daily meditation now.

 -Try to follow the atmosphere now. Try to receive the energy given now. Receive through the vertical.

 -Try to relax the physical body first as a preparation for meditation.
 -Relax those parts, which are still tense from the top to the bottom.
 -Try to correct yourself. Check whether your body, your feelings, your thoughts and your attention are here.
  Allaaaaaaah    (5 times)
 -The direction should be downwards.
 -The attention is not just focused in the upper area but is through out the whole body, until the feet.
  Allaaaaaaah    (3 times)
 -Now, try not only to relax the physical body but also to relax the feelings.
  Allaaaaaaah    (12 times)
 -Lessen the thought activity.
  Allaaaaaaah    (2 times)
 -Don’t try to follow or pay attention to the information or advice, which is given but just allow the process of experience to receive the advice.
 -We are ‘one’ here in this meeting, and ‘one’ with the pamong.
  Allaaaaaaah    (4 times)
 -Just follow the process with awareness – with feeling, not with thought.
 -Don’t force anything just go slowly. If you feel you have become tense, stop the meditation because that is the limit of your ability.
  Allaaaaaaah    (7 times)
 -If you can; try to give yourself up completely, just surrender completely.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.




 (If you don’t feel strong, just sit down)
  Allaaaaaaah   (21 times)
 -Fill yourself with trust in God, in the greatness of nature, in the Law of Nature.
  Be aware that you cannot escape from the Law of Nature.
  Allaaaaaaah   (8 times)
 -We are grateful to God, to nature. We are given enjoyment, given life from nature.
  Allaaaaaaah   (13 times)
 -And we want to change that attitude within us that is contrary to nature.
  The intention is to adjust and to follow this Law of Nature.
  Allaaaaaaah   (48 times)
     Rhayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.



 -Just follow what is happening. Don’t try to judge whether it is right or wrong.
-Just be comfortable. Don’t be in a hurry. Allow your body, feelings, thought and attention to be here.
 Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)
-Don’t allow the thoughts to be active. The way to do this is to channel the thoughts into the feelings so that you are able to feel the physical body.
-There is no difference between the meeting and me, because the aim and intention are in common, i.e. to surrender to God.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
-In meditation, we try to adjust our tools according to our intention and aim.
 Allaaaaaaah   (9 times)
-Try to be aware of the change in the atmosphere now. Don’t look for it.
 Allaaaaaaah   (16 times)
 Allaaaaaaah   (13 times)
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.





Kratonan, 26.1.83

Often we have spoken about the problem of remembering or awareness. We have four types of awareness; thought-awareness, feeling-awareness, spiritual-awareness, and a pure awareness.
For example, we just had a case (Pak Sri) of someone who had lost his memory, his thought-awareness. I, as a person have often worried about whether an awareness that has been gained can easily be lost.
If the direction, i.e. downwards, of the meditation is correct, then that will lessen the tension in the upper areas. So your nerves in the head area won’t be disturbed because emotions or ambitions rise up and interfere with the nerves in the head area. Even if the person appears patient, and calm in the outside, particularly if there is ambition, then the nerves will be affected and troubled.
So we learn meditation not only to calm the outside but also the inside and this requires a change in our character. This change comes about through acceptance of our situation. In the world, there is satisfaction/disappointment, happiness/sadness, and appealing/repulsive situation and by accepting the situation whatever it may be, we become strong, not weak people.
We don’t only learn theory, but we learn to accept all situations. We truly try to fulfill our duties, to accept all situation and whether we can or not depends on the grace of God, but we must be honestly committed to the practice.

(Pak Wondo): Please check my condition and attitude when I faced Pak Sri. What was the reality?
A. : At first a feeling of compassion (pity) arose. So there was certain nervousness as to what I should do. What must I do? This is dangerous because of the feeling of compassion, ambition arises causing a sense that I must achieve something, regardless of my limits. Pak Sri was unable to remember me and so it was difficult to meditate. I realized my limits and only waited for the doctor, sitting quietly and leaving everything to God. I didn’t allow my curiosity to check if something was happening. This is interference with a process over which I have already admitted that I can do nothing. By staying longer than I did would mean I was futile trying to do something, so it was fortunate that I had this meeting as an excuse to return to.

Now we will meditate. Pak Sri’s child asked that we have this meditation together for Pak Sri; in order that he receives forgiveness from God. As followers of Sumarah this is our duty.
Allaaaaaaah (5 times)
Now, go on by yourself. This lesson is to always to remember to ask God to help. The direction should be towards a pure awareness, a pure consciousness.
Allaaaaaaah  (3 times)
Rahayu – Rahayu – Rahayu.

There were two stages in that meditation, please explain the difference.
There was a lesson in controlling our emotions and ambitions. We must be strong in body and feeling for this, and often we forget that, as with medicine there are serious side effects if we abuse that medicine. We must always know our limits. Old people often forget this.
We learn to control our desires first and then later we find we don’t need to control them anymore because our character has changed. Also, remember that all this desires cause suffering. We try to change all out tools so that they are parallel with our intention and aim; so we are able to more readily accept the reality. Sometimes, this is only achieved through restlessness and suffering first. But this is necessary. Don’t only learn what feels pleasant, because often we are faced with what is not pleasant.
Actually, we cannot live alone. We need others and are needed by others.
Continue with daily meditation. At the time I met Pak Sri, my mantra was that I can do nothing, and in reality I could do nothing, and so when Pak Sri had regained awareness my ego should claim nothing for the person Suwondo. It is more important to be aware those vibrations that helped Pak Sri came from; not from seeking but from awareness. Be careful that the ego in trying to catch praise does not color the reality. It is important that awareness is not only restricted to thought but there are other levels of consciousness, i.e. feeling and spiritual.

Allaaaaaaah (3 times)
If we can or are allowed to, we should aware that there is no power greater than God is, and if we gain this awareness we shall receive protection from God.
Allaaaaaaah (2 times)
 We learn to align our nerves to the energy can flow correctly through our bodies, especially the head area.
Allaaaaaaah (3 times)
We learn about the law of nature, the law of energy, and we learn to follow the direction of energy, which is down.
Allaaaaaaah (6 times)
Rahayu – Rahayu – Rahayu.

In the past if I tried to meditate when I was not ready, i.e. with problems or tension, then gradually as the meditation progressed, I felt the tension sink down and a croaking noise could be heard in the nerves (head and neck area).
Please check my condition yesterday at 9.30 – 10 a.m. It is important to try to be detailed in your explanations.
A. : It was like this. This exercise is a check for your checking. At this time I was on my motorcycle in a large forest one hour north of Solo. I had to concentrate on driving, my body was tired, because the way was not certain and if something happened to my motorcycle I would be in great difficulty, my thoughts were disturbed. If I tried to relax on the motorcycle, I would fall off as the road was rough. There were both, pleasure (fulfilling a duty) and fear and worry (the reality of my situation). The feelings were light because it was a duty that I enjoyed.
Now check Pak Ratno condition this morning between 6.30 and 7.00.
The experience was that I was behind a bus at the traffic lights. When the lights turned green the bus didn’t move so I passed the bus on the right side and at that moment it started and forced me to hit another motorcycle; no one was hurt and the vehicles were okay. After reporting to the police we were all allowed to leave. But what was important was that the feeling was complete surrendering (giving up) to the situation when the bus forced him into the position of having an accident.
The use of checking is that by learning to check other’s conditions first we can then learn to check ourselves (a more difficult exercise). We must learn to be honest to ourselves. It is difficult.
And also by checking an event after it happened our feelings will become sensitive and selective to remind us beforehand.
For example, yesterday in the forest my friend was not sure of the way and wanted to ask someone. But I had an instinct that this was the correct road and also my ego did not want to admit a mistake and return 5 km to ask someone. This instinct (spontaneity) is both sensitive and selective. If only sensitive, then you will become sick. We become selective by lessening our discrimination.


Kratonan, Wed., 3.2.82

In the meeting, try to contact my meditation and condition, as a lesson for yourself. If it doesn’t feel correct, then don’t follow it, and if it feels suitable then use it as a method for your own meditation.
--- During meditation try to lessen the desire of wanting to understand, the curiosity of wanting to know what is happening.
--- Try to follow the guidance now. The understanding of the process comes not from the head area but from the abdomen (feeling) area.
--- The meeting should be one with me and should ask to be given guidance in order to become aware of your condition, not to try to understand your condition.
  This still wants to understand.
Just try to follow this experience. Just ask to be given the correct way to find this awareness.

  Allaaaaaaah  (11 times)

This is the way. Not to understand, but to be aware, each according to his own level.

  Allaaaaaaah   (8 times)

 The law of nature is usually received through vibrations, not through actions, so by developing greater awareness we become more aware of the Law of Nature.
 We should also be aware that we could not live alone. We need others and are needed by them.
 I should be careful when I want to explain something or help somebody. Am I allowed to help (a positive action)? If you get a warning against helping someone (even with the best intentions) you should obey it. Often the wanting to help is not pure so you must stop. Since I am a human being with the same desires as others, I consider it fortunate that I am given these warnings; these reminders. I am grateful with this.
   (A letter from Carol) ….expresses gratitude for the advice that Pak Wondo has given her and explains how that advice is useful in her present situation.
   (Pak Wondo)  I am so grateful if others can gain a little or a lot from this practice. Please check my acceptance of this praise from Carol. Be honest.
   A. …Actually I felt like crying because of my feeling of gratitude. Gratitude for the grace given to me so that I could explain things even when there was a large amount of rejection, as in Carol’s case. This same grace has helped me often with my family. For example, in the past, my wife would never accept my advice and yet now through this grace given to me (this help from nature) my wife often accepts my advice even though she is embarrassed to do so. The change comes from my own attitude to service. Now, I can also accept advice from my wife, although in the past I didn’t want to. I learnt to listen until she has finished, not just to accept.
 If you don’t listen until the other has finished, it is because you still hold a concept of what is being said. It is difficult to listen until someone has finished.
 Also, if you interrupt someone before they have finished speaking, it will cause an interference (anger etc.) which will enter the sub-conscious. The same applies with children.
 With children, the continual chatter can become like chanting (singing) if you change your attitude. Look for the reason why you protest, look for the reason inside yourself. The child is actually clean. Look inside yourself. If your attitude is different, then the child’s will also be different. The vibrations will be parallel and the child’s behavior will change.

   Q. How do you accept a situation without repressing something in this sub-conscious?
   A.  Remember that the cow chews its cud. Allow this process of rumination (contemplation) to happen and that problem (energy) which you find difficult to accept will dissipate by itself. It may rise up often, but always contemplate on it until the energy is finished. If the rejection is allowed out then it will cause conflict, which will in fact add to the energy. This process will destroy the problem completely so that it no longer disturbs.

-----All things record and absorb the vibrations around them.

-----When checking, if I feel something, I then ask what is that feeling. What is the cause (source) of that feeling? If I don’t get an answer then I leave it. I don’t persist, because without that answer the initial checking is not pure. The answer may come at a later time. Sometimes even before the question has finished being asked I already have an answer. Of course, it’s not certain.

-----Continue with the daily meditation.
       Try to correct yourself if your thought travels too far away.

--------------, ------------


-----If you don’t feel strong, just sit down.
  Allaaaaaaah ( 2 times )
-----Breathe totally, so the breath is felt in the feet.
  Allaaaaaaah ( 177 times )
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

What is the difference between this meditation and the first one in feeling.

      Often I want to explain, but I must hold myself back because it is important for you to explain your experiences first. If I explain first then this will influence the perception of your own experiences, by acting as a suggestion.

----Continue with an open daily meditation, even if you are active.

 Follow my experience now.
---- I felt I was given this experience from nature without any effort on my part. I often tell you to be one with the meeting so that you are able to follow this type of experiences (given by nature) more easily.
---- We should feel grateful every moment of our lives for the simple things that we easily forget. For example, we have eyes that can see, a mouth that can speak and a mind that can think. That we have these tools is not so remarkable, but be continuously grateful that these tools are alive. They are not dead. Also remember to ask for forgiveness for your wrongdoing. Because we often do things, which are not in harmony with the law of nature, so we ask forgiveness. Not with words, but with full intention and behavior in accordance with the law.


Q.  Pak Wondo often mentions ‘acting in accordance with the law’. According to me, there are three types of law. The Law of Nature (God’s Law), the Law of Man (govt. etc.), and the Law of Tradition (custom). Why does man seem to take pleasure in breaking the first two types of law but rarely breaks the third, i.e. law of tradition.

A. : Generally man does not see the true reality but only that which is pleasurable in his own eyes. Actually, many know the difference but lose out to their own seeking of enjoyment/pleasure. And generally they don’t know the consequences of their actions. I am talking about the spiritual consequences. For example, I find pleasure in stealing and I satisfied that the victim doesn’t know that I was the thief, but on the spiritual level, the “spirit” knows both, thief and victim and with this awareness I would change my character; change the worldly pleasure I get. That is only egoistic pleasure, but not spiritual. We must be aware that man consists of body and spirit. We can seek pleasure for the body but don’t let that influence or interfere with the development of the spirit. In the present time, man seems more interested in the bodily pleasures and although he is informed of the law of nature (God’s law), he cannot experience it himself. He cannot prove it himself. He has only been told. Belief is not strong, because the proof cannot be seen. Sometimes we are given a tool for examining or seeing other than the eyes. For example, with bacteria, with a microscope we see and believe in bacteria, but without microscope the ordinary man doesn’t believe at all, as with laws. The man who is not aware or is unable to see the consequences will act according to his own pleasure. So we need a tool to be able to see clearly this other reality. With a broader awareness, we are not brave to break the law because we can see another dimension. We are aware of another reality.


Kratonan, Wed. 9-2-83


- We meditate in order to have a healthy spirit and body.
- It’s not only for the spirit, as an unhealthy body will influence the process of meditation.
- So sometimes it’s necessary that we start again from basics in order to truly relax.
 Allaaaaaaah  (6 times)
- Now we move further by relaxing the feelings.
 Allaaaaaaah  (6 times)
- Now try to bring your attention completely here.
- The attention and intention become one so that the feeling is felt throughout the whole body (both physical and spiritual). By yourself.
- Just follow the process with your awareness. 
- Slowly comes back to daily meditation.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

   Acceptance with expectations is not complete, although it may be used initially, for example n the case of the wish to recover from a sickness.
   This special meditation helps the continuation of the daily meditation.

Q.    What is the method to relax the feelings?

A.     The physical feeling is projected through our muscles. Feeling our feelings is usually projected through emotion and ambition. This is in the frontal chest area. For example, sadness is felt here. Tension is felt here although it may not appear in the muscles. If possible feel peace or calmness in this area. For example is happiness or sadness physical? No, however it manifests through the physical body.

Q.     How does one actively relax feelings?

A.     If the channel of energy is upwards then this is not relaxed. If the direction is downwards, and not contrary to the law of nature, then that is relaxing. For example, if you are angry or have a problem, then your breathing won’t be normal. For example, rough breathing means tension on the physical level needs to be relaxed, whereas smooth, fine breathing means the relaxation is at the feeling stage.
         Feeling is between the physical and spiritual levels. And there are two levels to feel the rough and subtle levels. The rough feeling is connected with emotion, ambition and thought whereas the pure feeling is connected with an active remembering (‘angen-angen’) from the rear of the brain.


 Allaaaaaaah  (17 times)
- Try not to force (push), but only follow the process.
-  Don’t look at the information or vibrations that you are now receiving but try to live them, to follow them only with feeling.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Make yourself one with the daily meditation.

What was the difference with the first meditation?

If you feel you are receiving energy, try not to look at it (to analyze it) but just feel it completely until is finished.
      I (many of us can) am able to feel the beginning of energy entering our meditation. But the duration of that energy depends on the level of each person and their ability not to look, not to force, not to analyze, but just let the energy finish of its own accord. Lives the experience, don’t look at it. Let he feelings work, not the mind.

    I had an accident, and according to the traffic laws I was correct, but in reality I was blamed for the accident. So I wanted to pay for the damage (to avoid a scene), after a discussion which I knew I could not win. As I was paying, I only asked the other driver (the policeman heard), what (who) had caused the accident. I didn’t ask for a reply.
    The question was only directed at the other’s conscience, but he came out and paid a quarter of the cost of the damage. So this was his form of confession. So this form of acceptance is such that, the answer is returned as a question which helps the other to answer himself in his own way. Remember accept the situation first. This is also a way to respect the opinions of others, even when they are wrong.


.      Baluwarti, Sun.13/2/1983

--Don’t be in a hurry, so that you are able to lessen the tension.
--Try to relax the physical position.
 Allaaaaaaah  (20 times)
    Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Q.: What was your experience during that meditation?
When checking yourself don’t be afraid of making a mistake. Let the reality show the proof of whether you are correct or not. Accept the blame if you are wrong, but don’t doubt yourself beforehand. Be brave to be wrong or else, you won’t develop self-confidence. If you are wrong, accept it. Don’t continually look for the part, which caused the mistake. That is not being honest to yourself.

(Laura) When I asked for a check from Pak Wondo concerning my attitude the last three days, I felt Pak Wondo’s check was incorrect. So the reality will give the proof of who is correct. Perhaps I am not being honest to myself or perhaps Pak Wondo is only checking my condition now and not at that time. If so, he must find out where that check is coming from. So I should not follow his check because it could lessen the self-confidence. This is wrong. It’s better to admit (confess) your own fault/mistake first, even if there are other circumstances that help to justify the mistake. That will come later.

--Try to be natural in your meditation.
--Don’t try to hold on to feeling even if it is pleasant. That is a false quietness. Allow the feelings to move of their own accord.


--Don’t try to hold on to anything. If you feel the meditation is slipping away just let it go as it will come back again. Your awareness is important.

 Allaaaaaaah  (10 times)
For those who feel their feelings are not loose/relaxed enough, try to work on the chest area.
 Allaaaaaaah   (    times)
The meditation is not smooth enough. The differences should be leveled out.
Just let it go.
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Q. How was the atmosphere of that meditation?
A. For me the head area was still too active and it was difficult to spread the feeling, to be parallel.
(Pak Wondo) If it is like that, then stop first. Don’t force anything. Contemplate on the problem and when you let the contemplation go, then the meditation will begin.

--Try not to let differences exist between daily and special meditation, as they act as influences and supports for each other. Don’t let one be far from the other. And if you have a meditation, which is not pleasant, then learn to accept it.

     This is a training not to become weak, but to become strong by learning how to accept all situations. Those situations which feel pleasant or unpleasant, as well as situations beyond our capabilities. I have given this recommendation many times before. And although the advice has been given many times in the past, the acceptance is different each time.
When you (Laurie) ask for advice about your child, the advice I give is for you, not for the child. You are the one who can improve your own condition. The change happens within yourself so you are able to accept the situation, and this process of change moves of its own accord.

We learn to accept the nice and not so nice situations through this meditation. If you are a boxer you need to train to hit and to be hit. Also be aware of your limits. If you have trained to accept a hit of two kilos (2 kg) and you are hit by 3 kg then you will fall down. However we learn to get up and face the situation. We should not look to be hit but we should want to receive it.
And we are helped to stand up again through a belief in God; God, which is not just a name but the Law of Nature, a God, which is everywhere.
Suffering helps mature the spirit. This process wipes out the past sins. Suffering cannot be eliminated from your life. At first realize your limits and don’t use your activities (your busyness) to avoid facing your problems, but later use your awareness to be continual check of your condition even at the busiest times.
If you meditate don’t try to reach emptiness, but fill that space with awareness. Even if the calmness feels correct, don’t hold into it. Arouse an awareness of the feelings.


Kratonan, Wed. 17/2/83

If you feel conflict or find it difficult to meditate, then move to another chair, to another place. And at times when it is difficult to enter into a meditation just let go and be quiet and often you will be helped by nature and the process meditation will happen of its accord. The place which is frequently used for meditation, is especially suitable for providing this help.


--Try to relax the physical body first.
--Don’t be in a hurry because if there is a physical tension it will be difficult to enter into a special meditation. Move the body so it is as comfortable as possible. Meditation won’t be lost if you move the body. However your intention and attention should be steady.
--On the other hand, many think that by not moving the body at all, they are correct, even though they are not aware of their attention. Don’t allow the attention to move too far away.
--Try to carefully examine the attention, so that it is directed here. If that is difficult, give yourself an activity, then realize that your attention is towards God, towards Nature, towards all full awareness, which is steady, here.
 Allaaaaaaah   (7 times)
--Endeavor so that parts are natural, don’t press anything down. If tension exists, then a conflict will emerge.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--We try to surrender totally towards God through the Law of Nature.
--Continue to a deeper surrendering.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--So our tools operate naturally and are not controlled or command to act in a certain way.
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Q.: What were your experiences during the meditation?
(Phillip) Sometimes twitches in my muscles (e.g. knees) produce corresponding twitches in my mouth and a fear arises out of my feelings. What causes this?
A.: If you are truly relaxed then this won’t happen. This twitching is caused by nerves, which are not yet relaxed. A physical relaxation wills eventually lead to a relaxation of the feelings. I also experienced this before, with different sounds accompanying the relaxation of the nerves. Deep breathing will help the physical relaxation. Remember it is extremely difficult to explain an experience to another because the other hasn’t yet experienced it, and you need to repeat the experience to explain with abstract terms. Often the answer needs to be given many times before it is accepted by questioner and only then does the communication really begin.
If there is a feeling of rejection or acceptance than it means there is an awareness (a tool) which is separate from the other tools. When I said, allow the tools to be natural, to be parallel, this is to avoid this feeling of division, the feeling of separateness. In this natural state, the  I (ego) acts also as a tool which is one (non-separate) from the other tools.
(Wolfgang) If that is what you understood from the explanation, then I feel my question was missed completely.
(Pak Wondo) In Javanese the term ‘pramono’ means the one who sees. This level can also be achieved through a development of the feelings.

(Laura) I feel Wolfgang’s question concerned, who is the subject when you have feelings such as rejection or acceptance. Then Pak Wondo said all our tools have the ability to see, e.g. our eyes, our thoughts, our feelings etc. Then there is a higher form (a pure form) of seeing which is called ‘pramono’. When you experience this, it is correct to say that this is I that is seeing, yet on the other hand it is higher than you, and it’s impossible to refer to an inside or an outside, because ‘you’ are also a part of this ‘pramono’.

(Pak Wondo) For example, at the time I was astral travelling I had the sensation of being outside of my body. It was at Parangtritis and I experienced passing trough a wall and entering the sea. I was completely aware, but without a form. I even questioned how I could breathe under water. Who was this, who had that experience? I don’t know.
     Now, in meditation, I sometimes have experiences similar to that one, but I don’t leave the body. That sensation of seeing still occurs, but from what space does it occur?
     When I say I live; I have a soul, in fact I am wrong. Actually I am lived; I am spirited with soul. In fact I am only a tool.

(Wolfgang) How am I looking inside if I am inside? Then what is looking inside is actually an illusion?
(Pak Wondo) What looks inside is the former self. The past I. Feelings, desires, thoughts etc. can look inside. It is better later if all these tools feel the sense of I.  However, before that stage, the sense of I is relative to whichever tool has that identity; (i.e. the sense of I changes according to whichever tool feels dominant). When all tools have that sense of unity, the I no longer is felt.
--Try to follow the process, don’t just look at it. Gradually in this process of realizing, that which looks will also be realized and follow the process too.

--Relax first. If you don’t feel strong, sit down. Just be comfortable.
--Don’t be in a hurry.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--The flow is downwards.
 Allaaaaaaah   (9 times)
--Keep the attention here.
 Allaaaaaaah   (21 times)
--Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Q. What was your experience during the meditation?
A. (Tony) The first meditation was more natural, because in the second I was still affected by the discussion about that ‘I’. During the meditation I reached some kind of understanding. For example, If I ask ‘What is a chair?’If I ask ‘is it the vinyl covering?’; the answer is no. Likewise for wood, nails, screws, and stuffing; the answer is always no. Then if I ask what is a chair, someone would probably say, all those things in a certain structure form. If I ask is it the structure alone, and again the answer is no. So something which is named (i.e. an experience) should not be divided into components, because that only leads further away from the reality (truth).
(Pak Wondo) However, because we don’t have this ability to sees everything in entirety, if we are precise (detailed) in our explanation of an experience, a process or system can be learned whereby it is useful in the future experiences we have. All experiences are related to each other.
--Try to be one with the situation first, so you can understand what is being expressed, and are able to communicate on the same level. This is useful not for the other person but for yourself.


Baluwarti, Sun.20.2.83

What we study here is not to analyze remote/difficult problems, but to work on simple matters to change our character. To change bad habits into good habits. However the practice is not so simple. Often we consider the matter too insignificant to warrant a change on our part or else it that seems insurmountable and so also not worth a change on our part. It is important to do something.

      For example, during the last 10 days I have felt dizzy (with a headache). At that time there was a change, but I was confused because I didn’t know if this was something from my inner voice (teacher) or if it was a real sickness. I didn’t believe in the information I was receiving. I had a check-up but everything was healthy. This sickness was self-induced and was a re-aligning of the nervous system. So if we can learn to be relaxed, then our nervous system will change as will our behavior and habits. So if we are to act (behave) in a certain manner, because we will be behaving more naturally.
(Laura asked for a check of her daily meditation)
(Pak Wondo) If you feel you were correct in your attitude and behavior, even though others have criticized your actions, then just be patient. Be passive. Your ego is not satisfied, but it should not be allowed to explode in social interaction. (If necessary, go alone into the bathroom, if you feel there needs to be an emotional release).
(Claudia) Does this alignment of nervous system need to adapt to its environment?
(Pak Wondo) If there is physical tension in the body, it is because of conflict. The outside affects the inside and the inside affects the outside. If a new understanding or realization has been received, from the outside, it will cause an inner change, and because of that inner change, the way you consider/regard your outside environment will also change.
One way to overcome a nagging conflict is to put your attention in other activities. Don’t look for activities as a way to avoid facing your problem, but just put your attention into another activity (or into the physical body). Exhaling also releases conflict (tension).
Q.: But if there is an external conflict and we run from it, we still feel angry inside, so hoe does that help the situation?
A.: First, by lessening the tension outside, we are more able to work on that inner-tension in this case, the growing sense of anger.
Since I started to follow Sumarah I have heard that if you are fully able to accept illness, then this is good, because through suffering you are repaying past karma and helping to develop the spirit. Yet, I am still unable to follow 100% that advice. When I am sick, one voice tells me that my spirit will mature if I can accept, but another voice rejects that suffering. So when I often recommend that you accept wholly your situation, I am also telling that to myself.
Although I notice great improvement in myself, towards this concept of acceptance, I don’t use this as a form of self-defense, but rather I try to work on those parts, which are still rejecting.
Q.: Why could I accept a problem yesterday but today I cannot accept the same problem?
A.: That problem is now touching a deeper part of your sub-conscious. The problem is the same but your condition moves in waves. On an upper wave you can accept the problem but when you are at the bottom it is more difficult. For example, if I read a book, which I have read in the past, the contents are still the same but the understanding different. As your feelings develop greater sensitivity, your problem will hit you more intensely.
As you progress in meditation there will be positive and negative aspects (as with everything). The negative side is a lost of enjoyment. For example, I used to enjoy going everywhere with my friends, but now I don’t get pleasure from that. So there is a loss. Nature forces us to make sacrifices, and if we don’t make those sacrifices when Nature suggests it, then the consequences will be greater.
For example, in the past I would tell my wife that I had to go to the meditation meeting (she had wanted to go to her father’s house). I would then go with my friends for eat and to the movies first and the meditation afterwards, while my wife suffered home. It was a half-lie to her. Now, on the other hand, I ask her if she needs me for anything before I attend to my outside duties (Sumarah, etc.). If I am needed at home, then that gets first priority.
This kind of sacrificing is closely connected with humbling (worshipping) yourself towards .... This is needed in order to reach the level of surrendering.
When you are in a situation where you must sacrifice something, but you are unaware of the limits or you don’t know where to stand in that problem; then we face our situation through true contemplation by asking what we really want now. Then you answer with what is most important to you in that situation. After that you confess your own limits and weaknesses in that situation. Remember that you cannot escape from yourself. Remember also to follow the guidelines set down (by law) not to harm or inflict loss upon another (through disappointment etc).
Q. Can you then seek pleasure if it harms no one?
A. It depends. You may not hurt others but what about the soul? Because if we don’t train and see life only in terms of joy and sadness, then if you fall one time into sadness, then it will be more difficult because you are not trained for the blow. For example, the physical body without exercise is easily hit by disease, whereas the all-trained body can withstand much more.
If you can accept totally an explanation about your problem, then that will bring about a change in your condition. If you have a problem, and still hold onto a concept about the problem, then new explanations will not be able to enter.
However, if you are able to let go of your own opinions for awhile, fresh ideas (understanding) will be able to enter (like adding water to tea). And eventually clarify the problem, so that your state becomes cleaner (pure) because when your opinion is added it will be able to receive the situation in a new way.
Of course, it’s more difficult if your attitude is that others cannot help you because they have not experienced what you have. This is a strong rejection. I was like that for many years. My attitude was that it was easy for another to give advice because he had never experienced what I had. And I felt that I suffered the most of anyone in the world. However, when I saw those in the hospital, I realized how wrong I was and became grateful for what I did have. This is especially true with family problems.
For example, in the past when I employed 70 people I felt my place was too small, but now with very few employees I feel it’s too big. So it is all relative depending upon your viewpoint.
-The way of asking of advice is to let go of your own concept as much as possible and to accept the advice as it if is completely correct and then mix the two through contemplation and see what is the result. The result will be some change in your concept.

    Allaaaaaaah   (9 times)
Relax. Relax the physical body first. Move the body to help the process of relaxation.
Don’t be afraid that movement will change the direction of the attention. For many, the body is quiet, but the attention is wandering. The body, thoughts, feelings and attention are all here. Our goal is towards God. It seems it is only directed towards God but it is very wide inside, because it includes the whole universe.
     Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
     Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)
Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

We study meditation to be able to face life (this one and the next), to learn about the act of living; and how to maintain this existence, i.e. livelihood.

Kratonan, Wed.23.2.83

--Try to relax the physical body first. Just sit comfortably.
 Allaaaaaaah  (3 times)
--Just devote this meditation to the Almighty God.
 Allaaaaaaah  (6 times)
--Be grateful inside, so as to deepen the process inside of awareness.
 Allaaaaaaah  (7 times)
--Follow the process point by point, but all awareness is the present.
--This atmosphere results from an attitude of gratitude.
 Allaaaaaaah  (10 times)
    Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

--Carry this condition into daily meditation.
 To lessen the feeling of wanting (desire) try to feel the whole body. Don’t try to control (command) the meditation. Just try to feel the whole body. There is no sense of ordering or controlling. Try not to think about the condition of the body, just feel the condition. Ask the body really be. Just ask. Don’t analyze, don’t try to change the feeling to how you think it should be. Allow the attention to widen. Widening the attention in the physical body will lead to a widening of the attention of the feelings.
Sometimes we realize we are protesting against the reality: we understand and we confess our condition. Or at other times we understand bur fall short of confessing our condition.
For example, when I am healthy I understand and confess that health and sickness are the fate of man. However, when I’m sick I understand it is my destiny, but because I can’t confess this inside there is still rejection of my condition. By moving further to the back, we are more easily able to accept our condition.
The flow of energy should be downwards, if it is upwards, (often caused by emotion/ambition) then it will accumulate in the head area causing tension. If you cannot meditate, confess your condition to yourself and leave it for a while. Don’t force. Allow yourself to be in a comfortable (enjoyable, pleasurable) state. Sadness or discomfort is a state of tension. Allow yourself to be comfortable first, then when you are in that state just let go of it and you will be able to enter into meditation.
Without letting go of daily meditation prepare for a special meditation.
Don’t be in a hurry. Just be comfortable.
Q. How are you able to stay in a condition of daily meditation?
A. Daily meditation exists if you are in a condition of calmness and peace. It is as if the chest area is very light. If the chest area is not light, it is because of an influence from emotion and ambition. This practice will lead to a change in character through a changed attitude. And if there is a change in feeling, you must be aware of the change. Through a process of reminding yourself to check your condition you will develop the ability to realize a change in feeling and be able to check your intention at that moment. For example, if your intention is remain patient at a time when emotion is rising, then that emotion won’t explode and gradually will disappear from this correct intention.
 Daily meditation is being able to be aware of movements of the feeling. This movement of feelings (emotions) is stopped through awareness, confession and contemplation. Without any push, this energy (emotion) will dissipate down into the subconscious and explode again at a later time.
 The point of self-confession is that you try to lessen the lying to yourself. It will bring you closer to reality and not what you imagine reality to be. Most of us do not like disappointment and seek those goals which are in accordance with our desires. For example, if I am a dancer, I try to please the audience and myself and if I fail to do so, I usually blame the audience or myself. But perhaps, my body, my mind or my coordination wasn’t in the best condition at that particular performance and that is perfectly normal. However, we judge too much according to success and failure and don’t accept our reality. Desires are all right. To try to do your best is good. However, reality is often in opposition to our wishes. It’s very important that we can accept this.

Kratonan, Wed.2-3-1983

--Try to relax the physical areas, which are still tense.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--Try to relax the feelings. Widen the feeling of the feelings.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--Keep your attention here, do not wander. Your physical body, feelings and attention should be one. This aim and task is one, i.e. to surrender to God.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
    Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

In the meditation process there are three levels of breathing, starting from the rough level which becomes finer and subtler as the meditation deepens.
Usually a relaxed meditation will mean subtle breathing and tension will not need to be released through breathing.
Try to examine your meditation, and you find there is still a strong wish to achieve a deeper meditation.
--Try to flash on my condition without holding on to it and you may gain a new understanding/experience, which can help in your own meditation. Don’t try to create a meditation but just come back to your own condition in a natural manner and then meditation may or may not happen. You may be given your own system.

--Now everyone should one with me. One aim, and one feeling. However, do not force the situation if you can’t be one.
 Allaaaaaaah   (44 times)
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

If you can be one with your situation, without trying to control in any way, then nature will help you. Be parallel with your environment. Even though the intention is correct, the direction is correct, but you have not adjusted to the situation.
For example, at the bank earlier today I was very angry and so I tried to meditate to overcome my situation. Of course, I couldn’t. I had to let go of my concept (for meditation as a cure-all) and adjust to my situation first. To totally accept my condition. Become parallel. Become neutral. Then I could meditate.
If you are able to be free ambition (this wanting a deep meditation) then you will be given an experience/process like Claudia had, where all areas were empty but still with a sense of feeling, but with seemingly nothing to feel.
--If I say to lessen the physical tension first, it’s often to lessen the wandering of the attention. To direct the attention into one area only, not all over the place. To deepen your attention, place it in the feelings.  Relaxing the physical body is not enough. Go on to relax the feelings (the feelings of sadness, unpleasantness etc.). Your attention should be one with the relaxation of the feelings. Then your only activity is contemplating God. This lessens the unnecessary energy, the problems, and the obstacles in life. Lessening the unnecessary energy leaves the body fresh, which helps to accommodate advantageous meditation. Without a balance, meditation is difficult.
--In times of difficulty, when daily meditation is hard, you see things in yourself, which you don’t like. In this state, don’t force meditation. Contemplate first, and when an inner agreement has been reached, then you can meditate. To reach an inner agreement, the conflict between the inner parts should be resolved. If a part of you feels inferior, then it should confess it completely. That part, which feels superior, should also confess, so that the judge and judged can work together in agreement. Only when both parts have confessed can a new intention develop.

--Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t force. Make all your tools peaceful.
 Allaaaaaaah   (10 times)
--Be patient. Don’t be in a hurry.
 Allaaaaaaah   (35 times)
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

If you don’t let go of the daily meditation it’s easier to receive the vibrations the advice, and you are always aware.
Q.: What is the difference between “amarah” and “marah”?
A.: “Amarah” is the characteristic (the attribute), one of the four basic desires and “marah” is the manifestation of that desire. A release of “amarah” can happen without going through “marah”, e.g. crying.

--Try to breathe neutral, i.e. don’t control it, so a balance can be created between the inner and the outer pressure.
 Allaaaaaaah   (7 times)
--If you can open up, you can feel and receive the energy that is there, and use that energy according to your own needs.
 Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)
--Sometimes we are given a meditation like this, but don’t expect it.
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.


     Kratonan, Wed.23.3.1983

If your ideals or plans are not fulfilled, then this is normal. It’s normal to be sick. However, normally we don’t want to be sick, we don’t want to accept sickness as a natural event in our lives.
--Here we learn to change our character from a negative to a positive one. Sometimes we are not successful, however, we continue on with this.
--In the past there seemed to be less sickness, because the attitude of the people was different. They had greater patience; greater acceptance of reality, and a greater want for would come. Today is different, because the situation and the people have changed. In the past, the population was less, fewer business problems, greater business integrity; your necessities (daily rice) were guaranteed. Today the situation has changed and so people have changed-less patience, more protests; more anger.
--We learn to adjust ourselves to our environment without being greatly influenced by it.
--Before going on with the discussion, we’ll have a meditation first.

--Relax the physical body.
 Allaaaaaaah  (3 times)
--Inner and outer attention should be here.
 Allaaaaaaah  (5 times)
--The direction and the aim toward the Almighty God.
--Completely toward God, not just the name of God, but his complete Law.
 Allaaaaaaah  (4 times)
--We are grateful to God, that we are given enjoyment.
 Allaaaaaaah  (4 times)
--For those who can continue, go on. For those who have reached their limits, just follow what is happening.
 Allaaaaaaah  (6 times)
--Just follow the process. Don’t try to control anything. Just be free, natural.
 Allaaaaaaah  (10 times)
--For those who have reached their limits, continue with daily meditation. For those who can go on, we are united. With the pamong, we have the same intention and aim of devotion toward God.
 Allaaaaaaah  (12 times)
--There is a change in the atmosphere and as much as you can, be aware of this change.
 Allaaaaaaah  (4 times)
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

--In the old method of meditation, people would hold their breath as a means of gathering the energies of power (God) in their nervous system, however as you become older this becomes more difficult and dangerous for the body. What we do is the opposite, i.e. we exhale to promote relaxation, rather than hold the breath to keep/gather energy. We are just open to receive the energy. This first form of gathering energy often cause tension in the head area, which leads to anger. Anger has many forms. Some people have quiet exteriors but harbor tremendous anger inside. Others seem explosive but are very calm inside.
Especially when educating children we often need to show anger, when our real feeling are of love and compassion. Others are angry both inside and outside and on the other hand, there are people who are calm inside and outside.
--Earlier I (Pak Wondo) experienced black lines across my vision when I meditated with the concentration method, and later when I meditated with the relaxation method I saw white lines very clearly which were the nerves in head. I have not experienced that since then, as that experience was only given so I could explain the difference in the two methods to people.
Meditation cannot be forced. Meditation will not happen if you force and also if you are not serious about meditating. We must be persevering, continuous and precise but not forceful. Don’t forget to always check my advice. Flash on the pamong, not the person. Check first on the pamong’s condition, then you may check the person’s condition. It is good for me as a person to accept checks from others, and then wait for the proof in reality as to who was correct.
--There are many levels of confession. Confess to yourself. For example: I am stupid. I don’t know anything. I understand this. Then the next level is a confession of this understanding. Clearly, I am stupid. The deeper level consists of reality sitting there and becoming one with your confession, totally.
The proof of your confession is if you can face someone who says you are stupid and you don’t become angry. If anger still arises then this is the proof that your confession was not deep enough. Also, sometimes what you consider to be a confession my actually be a form of self-defense. For example if you confess to yourself that you have been wrong about someone or something and if you confront someone you admit your blame but without any sense of humility but instead using that confession as a tool to repudiate others instead of accepting his advice.
--If we really confess to ourselves, when someone confronts us about our weakness we don’t feel anger or rejection. This is not only in external appearances but also inside.
--Prepare for a standing meditation. Be free. Don’t stand too close to each other.
 Allaaaaaaah  (18 times)
--Go on with your own meditation. Request help from God for progressing in the level of your meditation.
--This can also help to change your mental attitude and character.
 Allaaaaaaah  (10 times)
--Continue with a feeling of gratitude to the Almighty God for whatever we are given as members of humanity.
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--Meditation is a process and is not limited to a certain time. When checking your meditation correct the physical body first, then the feelings and when an atmosphere of calmness has evolved then we learn to accept our situation, whatever it may be. Learn not to be influenced by feelings of pleasure or displeasure.
--When you ask a check of your condition or meditation, even when you feel my advice is correct, or not, ask yourself if it is right for you. Ask yourself what was correct in your meditation and how that relates to my advice. My advice should nod not confuse you, so check yourself and if what I have told you still confuses you, then ask me again. This is very useful (self-checking) as you will learn to understand that advice which you have found confusing.
--Also, be careful if you have a strong will, even though the body feels relaxed and the feelings feel relaxed; the mind is not yet relaxed and if there is forcing although you may not be aware of it because you are enjoying the pleasant body-state. This mind must enter relaxation also before meditation begins. This mind orders the tools to follow the process of meditation (relaxation) but doesn’t follow the order itself. Thought and feeling must be united for meditation to happen. However, usually mind orders feelings, which order desires, which orders other tools. This is not meditation. Empty the mind. Relax the body, first. Then relax the feelings. Then quieten the mind. Calmness doesn’t mean emptiness. But rather not wandering about. Calmness comes from directing thoughts towards the relaxed feelings. Only then meditation happens. Ordering of the different tools is not meditation.
Q.: When are you allowed to ask for something from God?
A.: You can, according of the level. At the “tingkat niat” (intention level) you may; at the “tingkat tekad” (perseverance level) you may; but at the “tingkat sumarah” (surrender level) you may not. At the “Sumarah level” it is wrong to request or ask. The reality/essence of a request at the higher levels is service.

Kratonan, Wed. 30.3.83

--Prepare for meditation on a physical and mental level.
--Try to find out which tools are not parallel with the intention and aim and correct them.
 Allaaaaaaah  (3 times)
--Try to lessen the thought activity. The method is for the intention to be completely here with the aim of surrendering to God.
 Allaaaaaaah  (6 times)
--Try to acknowledge those parts, which are still tense and relax them. Those tools, which haven’t adjusted yet, allow them to follow one direction, i.e. surrender to God.
--Try to receive my explanation not through thought, the mind, but through the feelings.
Don’t try to understand but be aware, so you will be able to continuous with the process and it won’t be stopped by your analyzing.
--After thought is relaxed and the other tools have adjusted, go on to a deeper level in meditation, not through force but by a deeper awareness of the process.
--The way to deepen the meditation is to feel grateful for whatever is given. In that attitude you will lessen the conflict. Generally, this is correct now, but doesn’t stop the process, follow it being aware of the change. If you have let go of the process then just come back and begin again. Try to lessen the protest, through gratitude. With this attitude the meditation will be in the right position, it will be closer to the reality. This facilitates the acceptance of reality, even when it is not harmonious.
--Try to bring this condition into daily meditation as well as you can.
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

*The power of God manifests through Nature. We know ‘God’ but must learn how to submit to God.
--We learn meditation for this life and the next. We learn meditation for this life (existence) and as a means of subsistence in this life. In theory we can accept this, although in practice (work) it is still difficult. I am afraid if I allow my work/business to disturb my existence here. We learn to develop the tools needed to cope with the necessary task subsistence.

--Completely relax.
 Allaaaaaaah  (10 times)
--Just follow the process, don’t control anything. Ask how the process should be. How the feelings etc. should be and only after the meditation look for the reason and result of the experience. Special meditation is a form of correction. It is a reflection on the state of your daily meditation. And if this meditation can be good, then it will help daily meditation.
 Allaaaaaaah  (3 times)
--If you can relax completely, then it will affect the physical and mental health of the body.
--So we hope in meditation that it will help our physical and spiritual health.
 Allaaaaaaah  (4 times)
--If we achieve physical and spiritual health then our inner and outer states will be calm. It won’t be affected by our desire.
 Allaaaaaaah  (3 times)
--We train ourselves to be able to accept everything that our efforts create.
 Allaaaaaaah   (1 time)
--We should remember that others need us and we need others. We are here to help others.
We cannot live alone. The intention and aim of meditation is to provide for our existaence and subsistence.
 Allaaaaaaah   (1 time)
--We intend to accept all things, which are presented through our daily experiences in a natural manner.
 Allaaaaaaah   (12 times)
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

We learn to be strong, not to feel pleasant. Learn to accept the changes in Nature as well as possible.
--Desire contaminates feeling and feeling contaminates the spirit. This affects the development of the spirit. Feeling has two levels, i.e. the contaminated feeling (emotion, ambition) and the pure feeling. The pure feeling also affects the spirit, but it acts as a cleanser. Emotion affects the spirit by contaminating it.
--Natural desire has a positive value; unnatural desire has a negative value. For example the desire to eat has a positive value in providing for the health of the body. But it also has a negative value if taken to excess. Natural desire is at first a realization of your own limits and once it has become a habit it enters your instinct. We may exceed that limit but only by a small margin. Often the problem is not being strong enough to resist the temptation but not wanting to.
--When you feel that you are often over-reaching your limits, remember the confession. Confess your weakness to yourself. But be honest. Ask for help from your surroundings. Don’t lie to your environment. Don’t lie to yourself. Confession is very important.
--With two people, if they both truly confess their mistakes then they will be one. There will be no conflict. If they are both correct, then reality will manifest that and then there will be no conflict. If conflict exists, then there is a lack of confession, a lack of honesty. The conflict is strongest when both feel he is correct when in fact neither is correct.
--True love requires a will to suffer (sacrifice), often ego is sacrificed.
--We don’t work to achieve success, pleasure. Be prepared to sacrifice something. Accept and be grateful for what is given. Don’t always ask.
Often in our spiritual process, when we stray from the ‘correct path’ then we receive a push back in the right direction. This push comes from the spirit. If you are free from your wishes (desire) then you will receive another sense of enjoyment/satisfaction.
--Nature is the process. We cannot create the process. If we try to help/push/create the process it is because we are not totally accepting. This incomplete acceptance will give rise to conflict. Sometimes we feel happiness, sometimes sadness. Now it is day, now it is night. Actually it is the same. The conflict (sadness etc.) is often because our feelings, desires are not following the needs of the spirit.



Kratonan, Wed.6.4.83

Q. How young can someone is to begin meditation?

A. For example, when I first attended the pamong meetings, I took my 5 years old child who would usually sleep. When I asked him afterwards about his sleep, he usually answered that it was pleasant. It’s reasonable to expect that the positive vibrations in the rooms, as children are usually quite sensitive, affected him although he didn’t understand the meeting at all.
--It’s important to realize that man alone cannot influence the ‘process’ but if he asks for energy, energy may be given by Nature through the person who may affect the process. Nature is active, and man is the object of Nature’s activity.

Q. If I’m only the object, then do I need to even try to meditate?

A. The aim of the young generation is to sharpen the power of intelligence and the character. However, if something is given by Nature it is important to be grateful. This gratitude is expressed not through words but through behavior; through service to others etc.


--Relax the physical body first. This applies for both new and old meditators. The aim of meditation is not to seek a pleasant feeling but to become aware of our character (and surroundings) and to have a real intention to change our weaknesses, because this is the real meaning of surrender to God.
--The negative aspects of our character will cause conflict; and those conflicts will cause tension and that tension cause suffering. This suffering is a sign that your behavior is not in harmony with the Law of Nature. And we should also realize that we couldn’t live alone. So we learn to want to be advised by others.
--Relax the physical body.

 Allaaaaaaah   (7 times)

--After relaxing, if you feel tension again, just move downwards. Don’t be influenced by your physical position.
--Now relax the feelings. Feel the peace and calmness.

 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)

--Don’t be in a hurry. Bring your attention completely here. Don’t wander. Allow the attention and the intention to become one.

 Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)

--The direction is one; surrender to God.

 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)

--Try to be one with same goal intention, surrendering to God and me.

 Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)

--Don’t allow too much thought activity.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--The flow is downwards.
--The final point of meditation is not the same for everyone, so those who feel the special meditation is over come back to daily meditation, because if you continue it will become tense.
 Allaaaaaaah   (7 times)
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

*We should want to receive advice from others. This is especially true between husband and wife. Love is giving, it is not a possessive attitude and vibrations of love between parents easily influence children. This atmosphere will also influence the house (building) and on the other hand, the house, which harbors these vibrations, will also affect the people who live there.
--When I say be aware of the Law of Nature, that means really wanting to accept your situation. Even if it is not suitable, we do not reject out of hand, but we first accept it. This will help us to become neutral. Often we hear advice, which doesn’t seem appropriate, it is because we are not parallel (i.e. on the same wavelength) with the advisor. However, if we practice to accept all advice, one day we will receive the message, which the advisor is trying to convey (i.e. become parallel). The same advice may have to be repeated many times before we are ready to receive it.
--In daily meditation, all the tools are active but you don’t lose the sense of calm/peace.

--Prepare yourself. Be relaxed as possible. Don’t be in a hurry.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--Lessen the control. Just follow the process, don’t feel you must be like this or that.
If you still can’t meditate, accept that first.
 Allaaaaaaah   (16 times)
--It’s important that this relaxation is not empty, but filled with a feeling of true and deep confession.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--The pressure inside and outside should be balanced. This balance means almost no tension.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--The breathing becomes refined almost to point of not breathing at all because the body/mind functions use very little oxygen.
*Continue meditating on your own, according to your own level. The direction is the same for all, however the levels are different.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.


 Kratonan, Wed. 22.6.83

 This is about the difficulty of communicating on the same level (frequency) with the questioner. So I ask nature for help in order to give a reply, which is suitable, which the person will receive. I know what answer I want to give, but it is difficult to know the way in which to present it. Someone may be hungry and so food will solve this problem, however the choice of food must be suitable and acceptable.
Q. (Carol) If you feel you have moved away from the process (correct path) of meditation what can be done to return to the path?
A. … Contemplation is like this. Ask yourself what the benefits and losses would be, in accordance with our desires or needs. Do I learn meditation for the needs of my spirit or the needs of my ego. Sometimes it is like a contradiction. The needs of my ego are often not the needs of my spirit. So I try to lessen the excesses (sense of satisfaction) of one and increase the lack of the other. So balance exists. This is the point of contemplation. However, sometimes we don’t know the needs of the spirit and the ego. For example, sometimes the ego seems satisfied, but the result of that satisfaction may also cause the ego to suffer. When considering the ego, if I gain pleasure from one condition, then I am satisfied and always seek that pleasure again to reach the same level of satisfaction. It is difficult. Through contemplation you will know the degrees of your emotions. What needs to increase, what needs to decrease. When you have the intention to lessen an emotion, the ego is often not satisfied and becomes angry. Don’t be angry with yourself, because you won’t be aware of which tool to be angry with. The rider should not blame the horse when it’s not clear what the problem is. He creates problems (tensions) through anger, which make it even more difficult to ride. First be patient and calm. Be commencing something, prepare what is needed. Imagine what is needed for your journey. Preparation, that is contemplation. Contemplation (in a state of calmness) through special meditation should be carried into daily meditation.
Be aware that meditation is for our present and future life, for our social interaction (kehidupan) and our livelihood (penghidupan).

In goals which we wish to achieve, it is sometimes required that we be firm but don’t allow anger to arise. Often we say that we don’t want to be angry but it occurs anyway. That is not quite correct. For example, if I feel hatred towards Wolfgang, although I suffer because of this emotion – hatred, even when Wolfgang is not present and continue to bring up my conflict with him with others, to talk about him, criticize him, etc. This is a sign that I still find pleasure in my hatred. I continue to hang on to it, I don’t let it go. I continually bring it up.
Q. I am deaf, and is there a way that I can hear again?
A. The electricity flow, if it can be continuous, may help. The continuation of the energy flow may be achieved through relaxation. The process may be speeded up through relaxation. Also be aware of your life and means of living (you also have a certain role to play).


--At the beginning, we try to relax the physical body first.
--Don’t be in a hurry. Relax those parts, which are not yet relaxed. By moving those parts, you may help the relaxation process. Don’t try to be still (quiet).
 Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)
--If the physical body is relaxed, then relax the feelings (a loosening up of the feelings). Don’t try to hold on to anything. There is a balance between the internal and external pressures. Don’t try to be neither empty inside nor full. We try to be balanced. The breathing should be regular so that the lungs hold no tensions and this also enables the heartbeat and blood-flow to be regular. By doing this we have a healthy body and healthy spirit.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--The energy current won’t be disturbed because the nerves are relaxed and the stream (circulation) is also relaxed.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--The feelings of both body and feelings are fresh. It is as if the tools of the body have no activity, so the amount of oxygen (energy) burnt up is small. It’s not excessive.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--You may move the body and change position but remember that the attention and awareness are steady. Don’t be afraid to move the body, but realize the attention and thoughts be firmly here.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--The attention is here, don’t allow it to wander.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--Slowly comes back to daily meditation.

 When you are doing nothing, there are many daydreams. Train yourself to control the emotions (desire, ambition, and anger). In state of anger, you do things, which are regrettable and unaware. You become blind to your surrounding. Too focused. (You may smoke the wrong and of a cigarette, bump into poles, stumble etc…)
--Don’t let go of your daily meditation, because in this state of calmness we more readily receive information, which is given.
--The source of anger is coming from the sub-conscious and if you are in a state where that emotion explodes and only afterwards you regret your response to the emotion, then that is acceptable. However if you are aware of anger rising and yet you continue to allow it to explode, then that is not acceptable. It’s not a question of whether you can restrain the anger or not, but whether you are satisfied if you restrain it or not.
--As you become more aware, you also become more sensitive, and are more easily affected by the vibration in your environment.
--If you try to help someone (especially with children) to release something, but that person continually refills the same emotion or problem, then your help is in vain. If a person stubs his toe and you treat it with medicine and you remind him to be careful, yet he continues to stub his toe and you treat him, soon your medicine will be finished without any benefit. It’s better to treat someone else.

Q. If service is important, then we do not pay attention to the result of our help, but our attention is on our actions at that moment. How could we know if our help is useful or not?
A. Actually this is connected with the Law of Karma. We are willing to help but the other person may not want our help or we receive a warning inside not to help, because that person still needs to burn up past Karma. Although it seems that this person needs our help, it may only be because he gets pleasure from our help but does not have a real need. We should help those who have a genuine need for our service.
--It is important to be grateful for what we have been given rather than always ask for what we don’t have.


--A standing meditation may help by acting as a treatment. It is easier to receive that energy which is needed by each of us.
 Allaaaaaaah   (42 times)
--The current is downwards, not upwards.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

If a person’s spiritual side is already strong, he is not affected by the material side. But usually his life (social interaction/material) side influences man. We have an obligation to our material side. I, as a family head, have a duty towards my family. If I don’t pay attention to that obligation, then my family suffers. We should not neglect our obligations if our means of support is not guaranteed then that we must support ourselves and not rely on others to take care of us. Service plays a part, because if I have no money then nobody can depend on or borrow from me. But if others can depend on or borrow from me, then that is service. I can provide for the hunger man, but without income, I cannot provide. We work in order to offer service. This balance is difficult to find.
In the past, if I need to go to a village, and I didn’t have the money, then I could not provide service for others. Don’t neglect the worldly side, because it is our responsibility as is the spiritual side. If you only the spiritual side and ask nothing of others then you must be prepared to die (from lack of food etc). If you are really clean in this state, then that is very good.
--If the spiritual and material side are in balance, then you don’t seek a profit or gain from business but you have rather an honest approach in you dealings.
--Continue with daily meditation, there is an even condition.

If you feel angry or you have an argument with someone in the house, leave the house because the vibrations you send out into the environment are recorded in the house and in the future, these negative vibrations will affect others. If you go outside into the street, those vibrations you send off will dissipate more easily because you are not in a confined space and usually you are more embarrassed to be angry or have an argument in a public place.
This is not only my theory, but originally from Pak Tadi.
Remember that we cannot live alone. We live within a household. So instead of always searching for a suitable partner realize that your disappointment won’t change by changing your partner but by changing your own character. It is your own perception, which causes the dissatisfaction. Change that first. If the character doesn’t change then you will always be disappointed.
--If we hurt someone, then we apologize. The other party may accept the apology. However, we hurt that person again and then apologize again and so on. What is the use of the apology? The real apology shows in your action. If you stop hurting the person, that shows the real apology. And the real apology occurs only after you have changed your character.
--The practice of meditation is not to get into a pleasant mood, but to become strong. The point of becoming strong is to be able to deal with our own problems.
--Allow your special meditation to let go of itself.
--You should not be active in letting go of the meditation.


Baluwarti, Sun. 26.6.83

--This meeting is a story about my servant. At the time she was about to die, she asked for forgiveness from her friends and was grateful to me to providing food and a servant to take care of her when she was unable to work. She felt she was a responsibility to me. At the Thursday meeting after she had died, both Pak Wongso and myself felt her spirit was good (clean) although her attention was still on me (because of what I had done for her). In a meditation I made contact with her spirit and helped her to become free of the attention. To become unattached to this world.
I also asked the question, how is it that a person who is not intelligent, who has never studied, who has little knowledge, who has never practiced meditation could have a spirit as clean as this? It was because of her character. So for us, in meditation we try to change our character, through awareness and through knowing ourselves in order to understand our condition and lessen our protesting.
In another example, she fell over and broke her arm. When I massaged her arm it became very swollen and I then took her to the hospital. In another case a piece of wood pierced her upper lip but she dint want to go to the doctor’s to have it stitched. Instead I gave some sulphamid powder and it healed quickly in a few days. 
In both cases she didn’t complain in the least about the pain. If she were asked, she would say it nothing. Suffering and pain are ways to help mature (develop) the spirit. In meditation, we don’t just look for calmness (that is only for the ego, not for the spirit).  So, that there is balance between the needs of the physical world and the needs of the spirit. Also remember we accept suffering (according to our capacity) in order to lessen Karma which needs to be repaid – in order to cleanse the spirit. In my servant’s case, it seems she passed away without leaving remnants or traces (of things unfinished). My mother also left no remains after she died. When I go into backroom I sometimes feel her, but this is not hers spirit, only my memories of her.

--If you can change your character, this will also to improve your health. In the Sumarah vows, we attempt to improve the health of both the spirit and the body.
*After the body dies, the spirit should be free and not influenced or affected by the gravity or attraction of this Planet. The tie with this world should be completely broken. If the spirit is attracted, it is because it has not been perfected and is still rough (kasar). It is frozen in this condition. Don’t ask something from someone who has passed away. We should try to help and encourage the spirit to break all attachments with this world. We may request the Almighty God to help in the process, but not from the spirit of deceased himself. We may encounter (see, hear, and smell) a spirit in this world (not a dream, but in reality) and this spirit is in a frozen state of attraction to this world. The spirit is not clean, it still rough.

Q. Can the spirit of the deceased harm someone who is still living?

A. I don’t know. I haven’t experienced it. However, a spirit seeking revenge may be able to hurt someone still living. I have read stories about murders where the murderer had been haunted (harmed) by the spirit of the victim.
 Often the spirit may be drawn back to this world, to satisfy the longings of the living. Here is a case in which the mother had a miscarriage with a 3 month old fetus. Later, she was often woken up by the ‘presence’ of the child. This child’s spirit was very rough; was not perfected and could not be free of this world. However the family also liked (were comforted by) these incidents and were attached to the ‘memory/presence’ of the child.

 --Prepare first. Don’t be in a hurry.
  Allaaaaaaah  (16 times)
--Relax the physical body, then relax the feelings. This will help to facilitate the process of oneness between feelings and remembering.
--Continue to follow the process. Watch that the attention and thoughts don’t wander too much.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--Slowly returns to daily meditation.
 There are different levels of understanding. For example, the same words (advice) can affect you in different ways depending upon your level of meditation (often understanding of the same information) and is often connected to suffering you have experienced.
 I also understand my own fears now in a different way and this is related to the suffering I have experienced.
……….. To change character, we need to achieve balance, through changing the nervous system and we quicken this change through relaxation. Relaxation is not only physical but also relaxation of feelings and attention, and as a result a degree of patience will emerge.
 For instance, we must learn to change our point of view. The person wearing red glasses sees everything red. Learn to change the glasses. Sometimes we forget we are wearing these glasses. We often become angry with our child with the intention of making him better, but we forget that we were once children and passed through the same experiences. This occurs also with friends and family. Usually we don’t like to be reminded by others that we too went through the same experiences and so our first reaction is defense.
 When we can change our point of view, even when someone gives us wrong advice we won’t be angry with him or her, but will be able to forgive them.
 When I have differences with my wife, now I just try to follow her advice. If I feel rejection or anger rising I learn to control it and not erupt. I recognize and feel shame for the emotion. But if the emotion has already risen too far it will explode without any sense of control or shame.


Kratonan, Wed.29.6.83

… This is concerned with an experience in which you must force yourself to face something which needs to be done. Instead of forcing yourself you can create an inner dialogue with your various tools. Find out which tools are resisting and why. Find out which tools have no objection to that which needs to be done. This inner dialogue (contemplation) is helpful.

--If you can try to follow this meditation as well as you can, so you may gain a lesson from the experience. Try to be one with me, Although this meditation is especially for Laura, we all may learn.
--Try so that the wavelength (frequency) is the same.
--There is still a separation between thoughts and feelings.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--Now, the condition is one. There is a part, which rejects and a part, which wants. It is separate again. Contemplate first where is the part, which doesn’t want (i.e. laziness); and ask that the part which wants is given understanding (a suggestion).
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--We are directed towards one goal; so the different tools are not in contradiction but rather are encouraging (urging) each other in one direction.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--Sometimes at this point there is anger, wanting, not wanting anger, laziness. So contemplate at this stage on which part is still lacking. Ask for an understanding.
--Don’t force, just be patient and accept the condition. Don’t be afraid of but rather be aware of your condition. Continue the contemplation.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--Try to lessen the conflict between the tools. Be aware that the tools are all parts of one self.
--We try to unite the tools in one union and this resulting totality (unity) smoothens the process of becoming one with the aim.
--The loss is great if the tools are not one, because the too, which acts as an obstacle doesn’t feel pleasant and it’s effect on the other tools (e.g. ego, feelings, thought, etc.) also causes unpleasantness (i.e. non-calm). If you prefer to be like this, then it’s your choice. But we must be aware also that (as with our tools) if we disturb others, we are also disturbing ourselves. It’s your choice.
--A level of wisdom is emerging, as you don’t need to hurry or force.
 Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)
--We start from the beginning, i.e. relaxation of the physical body.
--Sit as comfortable as possible.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--We are helped by this atmosphere to relax the physical body.
--Don’t analyze what is happening. As you receive an explanation, don’t analyze it or your condition will change
 Allaaaaaaah   (11 times)
--The attention should not wander but should be here so the feeling and sense of being felt are united in the one goal of surrender to God.
--Don’t forget to be grateful to God for being given enjoyment, peace and happiness via our environment and nature.
--For those who feel their meditation has finished, shift into daily meditation. If you continue you will become tense. Don’t force the process. For those who feel they can go on, please continue.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--Don’t try to stop the movement of your body during the meditation. It may be necessary in the internal and external pressure. In a balanced state, the amount of oxygen needed and burnt up to provide energy is less.
It is difficult to explain something if the other person hasn’t experienced the point, that he gains an understanding. That may be a few months after the explanation. The difficulty in explaining is translating a feeling into a word; so sometimes nature helps by giving examples to make the explanation clearer.
We should prepare ourselves for our problems. In my case, when my duty as a pamong was still new I used to prepare for a meeting two hours beforehand, and nature would also provide help during the meeting. However, when that help from nature couldn’t be received I admitted to all that I could not perform my duty.
There should be no degree of rejection if we want to receive help from nature. If we really have a pure intention towards our devotion and service, then we will certainly be given help from nature.
I am grateful for being given the possibility of surrendering through service to others. This is the attitude of love (compassion).

Q. Sometimes information given in a special meditation is not heard at all (as if in a state of sleep) but there is still an awareness of meditation. What causes that?

A. There may be two causes. First, and this is most common, you are too focused on your own enjoyment (your own ‘pleasurable’ state). Secondly, and this rarer, you are not balanced and the information given is too subtle (refined) for you to receive.
--Try to train yourself so that the thoughts are not so active but the feelings are still sharp and active. This is the condition for daily meditation. Don’t feel you are stupid if you have few thought. Your thinking will become sharper if you don’t waste your mental energy.
--If your feelings are sharp your body develops awareness and acts to protect you (e.g. uncanny sense in avoiding accidents), which your mind cannot understand. Allow the feelings to experience first. Allow the feelings to encompass the whole body.
--This experience of acting without the thoughts knowing is called ‘karaga’ – which is manifestation through the physical body (‘karasa’-manifestation through feelings-‘kasuara’ – manifestation through voice).

Q. What is the awareness we use in sleepwalking?

A. The energy is from the chest area. It is like a desire/willpower but I don’t really know. It isn’t from instinct. Try to ask yourself for an answer. This is a developing process for yourself (a self-correction). It’s not from instinct or the brain or feelings so as these two answers suggested this awareness may come from past ‘recordings’ that we have stored up or from the sub-conscious, which can only express itself in physical action when the brain/memory area is not conscious. It’s a form of channeling this desire/will. –Or on the other hand, it may be like a child in this family, who had a similar experience and that child had contacted a spirit (or an external guiding force).


--Don’t be in a hurry. Relax the physical body as you can. If you don’t feel strong, just sit down.
 Allaaaaaaah   (11 times)
--If there is still tension, help the relaxation-process by exhaling. If you are already balanced don’t continue with the exhaling because it’s only to be used if needed.
 Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)
--The direction is downwards so that the emotions, ambitions and desires are also channeled downwards.
--If you can be really relaxed your body can be, will feel fresh (this is a sign).
--Try to bring this condition to daily meditation.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.


Baluwarti, Sun, 10.7.83

Q.: In an explanation you gave last week, you recommended that all duties be done in relaxed state without any tension. In the west we are ruled by the clock and must complete our work by a certain time. There is little chance of canceling; postponing or being late with a duty. How can you remain relaxed when pressurized by time?

A.: For example, if I play tennis without allowing emotions to rise, I don’t quickly tire. However, if emotions become involved, then I tire easily. Relaxation doesn’t mean laziness. If I say ‘I must’, then usually there is excessive emotion or ambition. Whatever the situation, we should remain calm. If I play tennis in a tournament, I have more enthusiasm a greater determination to succeed than when I play normally, but I don’t allow emotions and ambitions to rise, to become involved.

Q.: Even when I feel that I am calm, if I must finish something by a certain time ( a tight schedule), then I almost invariably get a headache.

A.: This is because the direction should be downwards (not upwards). The circulation should be balanced. The intake and output should be balanced. All our tools should be actively working to maintain this balance. If only some tools are active, then there is imbalance and you easily become tense. Of course as humans our ability to do this is limited but if the direction is downwards we won’t quickly tire. If you force yourself past your limit, your work won’t be effective or productive. Take a rest for a few minutes to refresh the body.
--When I go to the villages, I don’t go slowly. No way. I drive quickly but in relaxed state. And surprisingly those who accompany also don’t feel tiredness or pain during the trip even though they may be in an old/ill state at the time. Their attitude is accepting. A rejecting attitude, produce tension.
--It is often the case that a person’s attention is split. Concentrating on what he is doing and also on what he still has to do. Often he is not aware that he is ‘remembering’ what is still to come. To be relaxed, the attention should completely be in what you are doing, you are aware of your limits and do not overextend them (rest frequently if necessary) and you are ‘open’ (without resistance/rejection) to your situation or work.
--If we are working hard with the body, then it may become tired (lelah) but emotion/ambitions are also involved in the work, then it may feel weak (lemas). (Inwardly without energy)
It is difficult to recuperate when you are weak but not so difficult if you are tired. I have given the same advice to my son who studies at the Technical Institute in Surabaya.

Q. My friend, who is only here for six weeks, is seeking something tangible (a grasp/tool) that she can take home with her to help her in the practice of meditation. Other disciplines have ceremonies, fasting, mantra, retreat, etc. What can Sumarah offer?

A. A mantra is all right, as long as it’s not used after the time it is no longer needed and as long as you are aware that the direction of your meditation is towards God and the mantra is only allowed to obstruct that aim. For the beginning, it may be a useful tool but as the process continues it needs to be dropped. Remember all techniques used, should have the goal of inner clarity and union with God.
--A sign of correct meditation is inner calmness or peace. This calmness exists when there is no conflict between the different tools. The tools are aligned when you are attuned to your environment. Be open to what is happening inside and outside of you.
Going on from that; we use self-suggestion. This is useful as a start (almost as a fanatic-although ideally that is also not correct). Then gradually a belief/trust will arise within you on account of the suggestion. In fact these other trappings, fasting, mantra, etc. also have the purpose of self-suggestion in order to arouse a belief. You could also try ‘remembering’ a particular meeting here to provide that contact/boost in practicing your meditation back in the west. This is our internal ceremony.

Q. Pak Wondo has advised us in the past that forcing relaxation meditation can be dangerous because various emotions store up in the subconscious. I often use Pak Darno’s cassette as a guide (crutch) to my meditation. Is this forcing, and if so, what is the danger?

A. You can use this as temporary help, but if possible you should not need that. Really we learn this meditation to become strong, not weak. We learn to stand on our own feet. For example, when you learn to ride a bicycle, help must be sought first to balance the bicycle, but we don’t learn to ride a bicycle, so that in the future we are on the back of someone else’s bicycle. We learn to ride and balance by ourselves. The danger in using the cassette is that if the feeling is pleasant, then you won’t exercise without the tape. The tape offers an escape. It seems that the anger, for example, disappears, but it is only the ‘expression of anger’ which disappears; the essence/source of anger (amarah) remains, i.e. is stored in the subconscious.

Q. How you can lessen anger?

A. Through exhaling. I’ll try to explain the difference between ‘napsu’ (desire), and ‘hawa nafsu’ (acting upon desire). We all have desire that cannot be changed. However, as with a fire, if you add air (oxygen) then it will burn and thrive. Try to lessen the air getting to your desires. This will lessen them. Reflect inwardly on your desires. Don’t feed them with external phenomena. As with blood pressure. When respiration increases, blood pressure increases.
When your desires arise, you often hyperventilate. Breathe slowly, remain cool and calm and you won’t feed your desires. Exhale and you will lessen your anger. Often on the outside people don’t show their anger, but inside they don’t really want to stop being angry. This is not correct. On the other hand, if you can be calm inside and appear angry on the outside that is all right because you have a need for that mood and it’s not really affecting you.
Remember that anger often manifests in rejection. In this particular check that Pak Wondo made for Fiona, what he meant by anger was her rejection of her condition/situation.
Really in this world there are only two types of persons, those who are accepting and those who are rejecting; the positive and negative.
If you ask for a checking but are unable to remember the time, just flash on / remember the incident.

 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--The method is not to immediately go down-wards (enter the meditation) but to move to the back first.
Remember you have a neck, a frontal and rear brain.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--Don’t force, just let the process work by itself.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--Even if your thoughts are like this, don’t keep refilling them. It’s as if you stop activating them.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--Lessen the desire (wanting a meditation). The direction is downwards.
--Shift into daily meditation without changing the sphere.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

--Be careful about the wanting (desire) for meditation. This is forcing. Just follow the process. Don’t use ‘desire’ or ‘will’ in meditation, but rather ‘intention’. Desire and will often appears the same, but actually they are different. ‘Kemauan’ (will) has ambition i.e. sense of ‘harus’. ‘Niat’ (intention) only has a want, but also accepting if the ‘want’ cannot be reached. I.e. sense of ‘mau’.
Q. If I stay at home and involve myself in no activities, I often feel tired and weak. However, if I involve myself in many activities and am very busy (also aware of my limits) often have enthusiasm and feel fresh. In the first case I am using little oxygen, but in the second, a great deal. In the first my attitude is negative, in the second positive (perhaps through ego). Therefore it seems that more often than not ‘hawa nafsu’ (fueling the desire) produce a positive frame of mind/being?
A. This is only the body burning the oxygen….
Actually desires are like four horses pulling a chariot. Sometimes it appears that only desire is protruding/sticking out, but actually all four are interacting. One horse cannot act on its own accord. They are all working, but often if one is more prominent it will affect the others.
--Amarah is red, anger, and fire.
--Aluamah is black, inertia, and earth
--Supiah is yellow, yearning, greed, jealousy, and water.
--Mutmainah is white, the drive for purity, desire to do good, and air.
--The chariot represents the vehicle we use in this world, i.e. the body.
--The driver (Krishna) represents the ego, which is controlling the four horses.
--The passenger (Arjuna) represents the spirit/soul, which embarks on this journey with a particular goal in mind.
--The owner of the chariot is God.
--All parties are mutually dependent on each other and would be unable to function as a whole without the parts.
--The desires to move the body in any particular direction.
--The ego to control the desires (the desires cannot be pushed unreasonable; there must be some gratification).
The soul to direct the chariot towards its destination. The soul/spirit is paying for its journey.
God to oversee his property, that it is not being unduly damaged.


Baluwarti, Sun. 17.7.83

--If necessary, relax the physical body first.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--Introspection means (in the beginning) reflection on those tools, which are not yet relaxed and then relaxing them.
--Be aware of the movements of the thoughts. Don’t allow the thoughts to wander too far. But rather try to calm them.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--Try to be aware of your feelings in order that your attention is completely here. Be aware not only of the physical body but be also aware of the feelings, desires and emotions. Bring the attention here.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--Generally if we are like this, we gain a realization about those parts of our character, which are not in tune with the Law of Nature.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--If you have gained an awareness or realization about your character/condition, there still remains the need to ask yourself for a new intention and new aim.
--With perseverance, the new intention can help to form a new character/habit.
--Don’t allow this calmness now to be an escape from reality but rather as a means to face your problem/situation. After you reach this position of calmness/peace you can face life’s problems with a positive attitude and see reality.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

--Come back to daily meditation.
--Generally, calmness is an escape. Usually, if we reach a level of calmness, we are afraid to let go but rather escape into the calmness. If we are able to face our problems in this state (a tool), we will be able to come closer to what reality really is.

--Q. What do you mean by calmness?

--A. The answer is easier in Javanese. So from a state of ‘calm’ and ‘wide’ (longgar) we can reach a calmness of being in the right place. So if you can be centered, it is much easier to accept whatever problems confront you, it is much easier to be fair (just) and it is much easier to confess your mistakes. In this neutral position, you are also not so affected by happiness or unhappiness.
--While we are talking, be aware of your daily meditation and don’t lose that condition. Because in a state of daily meditation, the process of communication and explanation is easier as we are in a better state for understanding what is being said.
--Sometimes the daily meditation is deeper than the special meditation because in special meditation we may force (through desire for a good meditation) but in daily meditation we are more open and may reach a deep state of it’s own accord.

--Q. Is it possible to experience happiness in this neutral position (by being unattached)?

--A. It is possible to experience happiness but it doesn’t disturb you, it doesn’t leave any trace. This also applies to unhappiness. So the happiness or unhappiness is not excessive.
Just follow this advice if you can, but if you feel it’s not correct, then don’t follow it.

--This should be a continuation of the process not as if you are starting something new.
 Allaaaaaaah   (12 times)

-----(Paul): … Yesterday on my way to Tawangmangu I experienced an understanding of ‘eling’. In this simplest form ‘eling’ means ‘remembering’, i.e. remembering God. I experienced eling not as a passive remembering, but something active, moving and Pak Wondo suggested that this was an example (contoh) for me. An experience of eling was given to me in my daily condition, not in a special meditation where I may be desiring/directing the meditation. But don’t put down the special meditation as it is closely tied to daily meditation (our daily condition).
--(Pak Wondo): This is difficult to explain. I have an image of what needs to be said but it’s difficult to put that picture into words.
--When you have an experience, try not to just ‘look’ at what is happening but rather just allow the experience to present/show/manifest by itself. Be active in both feelings and thoughts. To help this process, try to move everything to the back. Often when we are working, all our attention is in the frontal part of our body. The back area is empty. Try to fill that back area with your attention. This will help to awaken the feelings.


Kratonan, Wed.20.7. 83

. … You must be careful in translating. If advice is meant generally, then it’s OK not to discriminate. However, if advice is directed towards it’s not sure that B or C could grasp that advice and may in fact misinterpret it. This particularly applies when there are many newcomers. The burden for the pamong becomes greater if there is misunderstanding among the listeners. Because we all perceive life differently, what one person understands from information given, another person may understand that same information completely differently.
--In my explanation to Carol, I felt I didn’t succeed in transmitting my advice, not because Carol was unable to receive but that I could not find the appropriate words to relay that advice.
--We are always preparing for special meditation while we are talking because we are learning to relate as a group, as a union of one. –The way to prepare for special meditation is first to relax the physical body, then to relax the feelings, then for the attention to be here (i.e. not to wander too far).

--Don’t force yourself, just being comfortable.
--Relax the physical body first and this relaxation will help to improve our health.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--Try to relax those parts of the body, which are not yet relaxed, and if necessary, move the body to help the relaxation process.
 Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)
--Relax the feelings. Not the feeling of the body but the feeling of the feeling (e.g. happiness, sadness, etc.).
--Don’t let the thoughts wander. Just be here. This facilitates the oneness of the attention and feelings.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--If you feel there is still tension, then relax it.
--The normal rhythm of meditation is relaxing, tensing, relaxing, tensing. This is the natural movement.
--Now bring this condition back to daily meditation even if you feel your own potential or level has not yet been reached.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--Often we defend our concepts/opinions even if you feel they are wrong. We are ashamed to admit our mistakes. Confess to yourself your condition. If possible, confess that you are wrong. If you don’t confess, then there cannot be a change in character.

--For those people who received advice before, try to practice that advice during this meditation.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--If you have problems and your preparation is not complete, then those problems will be carried into this meditation.
--Don’t be in a hurry, be patient. Your attention should be here and not wandering.
--For those who can grasp this advice, be grateful for those who cannot at this point, gradually an understanding will arise. To challenge thoughts, to quieted feelings, to increase introspection we confess our ability and limitations, we examine our character and try to change what is negative to positive.
 Allaaaaaaah   (14 times)
--For those who feel their meditation has finished, bring this condition back to daily meditation and for those who feel they can continue, go on with the meditation, but don’t force the meditation.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--Try to meditate on your own now.
--Slowly comes back to daily meditation.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--The strength of each person’s meditation is different. Be aware of that and don’t try to force your meditation past its limits.



Kratonan, Wed. 27.7.83

--Even if we are not yet meditating, prepare yourself through your daily condition.
--Daily meditation enables us to endure our situation better.
--Try to feel/witness the energy that is given to the bottle of water on the table.

 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)]
--Now meditate at your own.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--If needed, start from beginning that is relaxing of the physical body. There is still ‘disturbance’ for some.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--After relaxing the physical body, we relax the feelings and calm the thoughts, bringing our attention here (i.e. don’t wander). However, let go of the concentration.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--If you feel you are forcing, be aware of this, and relax this state. It’s important for the internal and external pressure to be balanced. So the breathing will not be disturbed, almost as if you are not breathing at all.
 Allaaaaaaah   (8 times)
--Here we learn to honest with ourselves, honest with our environment so that later it’s easier to adjust to the situation.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--Be continually aware/careful about the feelings, so the cleansing process can go on. We meditate in downward direction, in order to settle down the desires so they don’t disturb or cover up our awareness. So when we are clean from those desires, that condition can influence our character and habits. Here we try to be in a state of introspection (knowing yourself) in both our worldly and spiritual aspects, to know our place in order not to offend or break the Law of Nature.
--We can lie to others, we can lie to our thoughts or feelings, but we can’t lie to ourselves, let alone God. But in reality we often lie to ourselves in our daily life by pretending we don’t know.
--In order to change the negative aspects of our character, we need to contemplate (on ourselves) as often as possible. And according to your own belief, you could refer to ‘karma’ or ‘good action’, but the point is that to every action (positive or negative) there is an equal and opposite reaction. Actually we all know this, but it’s difficult because we don’t want to accept this.

Continually prepare yourself for special meditation, in your daily condition, so that the two states are always interwoven and become one. Often we can receive experienced in our daily meditation.
If you have experiences, which are not pleasant, we must learn to accept this, but not to the extent where we are forcing the various tools, but if necessary just force the ego (at the beginning). It is important that what ‘forces’ is your own intention. Because if you are not willing to ‘force’ through your intention to change bad habits then you will be ‘forced’ by your surroundings. Prepare yourself to face change, rather than wait till the moment when nature forces that change. If we wait for nature, then there will be more suffering.
--We have to learn to accept both peasant and unpleasant experiences. In meditation we should not reject any of our experiences. And sometimes, when we have a good meditation, we are still not satisfied.
We want an even better meditation and force the condition until it becomes worse (because of the ‘forcing’). Also when the meditation is pleasant, we don’t want to stop and continue past the end-point until we become tense again. Because sometimes we forget that life is movement.
--Confess your condition don’t try to defend it.

Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--Stand up if you feel strong enough.
 Allaaaaaaah    (10 times)
--Continue like this.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

--Standing meditation is a downward movement and helps the desires to move down because the energy flow is more fluid and refreshing and attracted by the earth’s gravitational pull.
--I spoke about honesty before, but in fact I am not honest myself. Later I will be honest.
In standing meditation, first you find a comfortable position then just let go. If there is a fear that you might fall over, then this influences you and you become off-balance. In this case it’s better to remain seated.
--When I advice you not to concentrate, I mean not let go of your aim but not to hold on to anything because then you become stiff, it is not flowing. You may become tense. Movement helps meditation don’t be too rigid.
--Now I can be honest. If there are no more questions, I want to go to my nephew’s wedding now.


Kratonan, Wed. 3.8.83

--By acknowledging our emotions, that will aid the process of acceptance rather than feeling that you should behave in a certain manner. This acknowledgement helps to unite our tools and change our attitude.
--We check our attitude by being aware of our attention.
--When thoughts and feelings have become one, then that is what creates attitude (which is different from the attitude we have when only using thoughts or feelings), and the deeper into process we go, then our attitude will also change. To bring about a change in attitude, we must first humble the ego.
--Attitude relates to everything we face in the world, and we should first learn to face ourselves. We are aiming for an attitude, which is non-discriminatory.
--Accepting something does not mean following something. For example, when we are sick, if we reject that condition, then often we double the pain but accepting the sickness doesn’t mean that we don’t make very effort to recover from the sickness.
--Being selective means knowing what is right and wrong if a mistake has been made, we admit that mistake and try not to commit that action again.

Being discriminating mean wanting to enjoy (hold on to) the pleasant moments and feeling anger and/or hate during the unpleasant moments.
Non-discriminating is acceptance of all states. (But be aware of doing something on purpose, which is wrong, and then justifying the action by believing you must be non-discriminating). We want to accept the risks and consequences of our action. Be flexible is your judgement of what is right or wrong. You judge from your own experience. Remember nature is always changing, so what may have been correct in the past, may not be correct today. There may easily be a misunderstanding here as we often see only what we want to see. For example, if we have flu, I really should not swim, but because I enjoy swimming I justify swimming on the grounds that I often went swimming in the past without any ill effects. We don’t want to see that the condition now and then is different.
--However, if we can be in accord with the Law of Nature, then our actions will be correct.
--Don’t hold too tightly on to your own concepts. What may be right for you may not be right for other person, for example, I can eat chili without getting a stomachache, however, you might find it too hot and become ill. This lesson applies particularly to the family. What is good for you is not necessarily good for your child or mate.
--Remember there are many secrets in Nature and we should not take a stance of righteousness when so much is still unknown. Even little children know more than us when they are sensitive to the process of Nature.


--Prepare for meditation. Sometimes I have more advice inside, but I am not allowed to say it. ….. Continue. ….
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--Relax the body first.
 Allaaaaaaah   (10 times)
--The process is to relax the body, then relax the feelings and quieted the thoughts by not allowing them to wander about.
 Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)
--Bring this condition back to daily meditation.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

--Our feelings are in the chest area include feelings of happiness and sadness, ambition and emotion, etc. Relaxation of feelings occurs after relaxation of the body. But if the feelings are not relaxing (still uncertain), then this can disturb the relaxation of the body. Relaxation of feelings is a feeling of calmness/peace. We always need to be developing and progressing. Often an understanding doesn’t come with a new experience or awareness, but don’t allow that to block you, as the understanding will also come in due time.
--The feeling of physical body is different from the feeling of the feelings. For example, the feeling of the physical body if we are sick can influence the feeling of the feelings (arouse sadness, etc.).
And our feelings can change without going through a physical reaction. Particularly between parents and children, where feelings change inside because of a change in feeling that parent or child has. Often you are unaware of the change in feeling before it is received by the mind.
--Continue with the daily meditation, paying attention to the changes that are felt in our feelings so that we can learn to recognize these shifts within ourselves.
--Generally when we wake up we should feel fresh. If we still feel tired when we wake up it’s usually because we have taken our problems into sleep with us. When you rest, you should rest completely and leave everything else behind. When you are awake, you should be completely awake and alert. Try not to mix these two.
--Here, we learn to accept and face our problems.


--If needed, begin by relaxing the physical body first.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--We begin in the same way in, which want to sleep. We leave all problems behind and only think about meditation (in sleep it is likewise).
--If it is difficult to put aside your problems, just channel your attention elsewhere first.
--Once in a condition of meditation, we can enter the problems and contemplate on them in an effort to solve/dissolve them.
 Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)
--This meditation is very different from the first one.
--For those who feel they have finished the meditation come back to daily meditation, or else you will tense up again; and those who feel they haven’t finished, just continue.
--Bring this back to a daily meditation.
--If you ‘remember’ your problems, then there is still a part in you which enjoys/likes sadness. Don’t bring old problems up again.

Q.: What is the tool, which observes the activities of the ego?

A.: The inner eyes. The inner eye of the thoughts or the inner eye of the feelings. According to the level. Analysis is in your thoughts. Contemplation is in your thoughts and feelings.
--When we are thinking our condition is rather narrow; however, when we are feeling our condition is wider. As in meditation, the awareness through contemplation is wider than the awareness through thought/understanding.


Baluwarti, Sun, 7.8.83


--If needed in the beginning, relax the physical body.
 Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)
--Now continue by relaxing the feelings.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--Unite your attention with your feelings, here.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--Be aware of this attention and bring it back to daily meditation.  
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.


--This is especially for Fiona, but we can all follow it and learn how a special meditation can be helpful in daily meditation.
--Be one with me in your feelings.
--The attention and intention become one and the direction is downwards.
--Don’t be in a hurry. Be patient.
 Allaaaaaaah   (5 times)
--Gradually let go of this and come into daily meditation. Just open your eyes.
--Meditate with the eyes open if you feel you are focusing too much with the eyes closed.
--Try to be aware of the emotion (anger in this case) rising before it erupts. Try to direct your attention first. If necessary avoid/escape the situation first if you are left with the choice of suppressing the anger (pushing it into the subconscious) or letting it out (hurting others).

Q. (Tom) Could Pak Wondo check my attitude now. It feels rigid.
A. You are stopping. It is if you are holding onto your feelings. Try to find an answer through meditation. Relax the physical body and if needed move the body. Don’t just be quiet. The attention is not held in the frontal regions but allowed to shift to the rest; and then the movement is downwards.
--More to the back.
 Allaaaaaaah   (4 times)
--If there is still tension, particularly in the back neck, just moves that area.
--We don’t change the attention with our eyes, but with our feelings. If there is still difficulty shifting the attention to the back of the chair/wall, not leaning on the chest.
 Allaaaaaaah   (6 times)
--Allow it to move gradually don’t force the process.
--Feel the difference between this condition and before.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

--Some of us loosen up the neck area before going into a special meditation. In this way the neck will stop moving by it when it has been sufficient relaxed.
--Actually, here we are learning to recognize ourselves. Sometimes we know our faults/mistakes and sometimes we don’t. But as we know/are aware of our shortcomings more clearly. This is good for the spirit and not so pleasant for the ego. Then the next step is to learn to accept what we already know. This is more difficult. But remembers, life is movement. It cannot stop. All we can do is change the direction of the movement. So we try to change the movement of rejection into a movement of acceptance. We change our response to the situation. For example, when my wife used to be angry with me, I felt it was because she hated me; now, when my wife was angry with me, I feel it is because she loves me and wanted me to change my character. The degree of my wife’s anger hasn’t changed, but my response to it has changed.
--In this process, if you plant a new promise, intention, attitude, then don’t be angry with yourself if you haven’t reached the ideals you set for yourself. But rather compare the progress you have made with your condition before the new intention and be grateful for the change, however small it may be/appear. If you do become angry, this protest will block future progress, but if you are grateful, then this will act as an aid.
If you are able to compromise, then it will lessen the conflict between the emotions, ambition, ideals and ego. This compromise is first made between the inner tools and then when you face the outside you will be more able to make compromises with your surroundings.
If you feel you are able to receive advice, don’t only say that you can understand it but put that advice into practice.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--If possible, don’t force anything, just be aware of and follow the process.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

Q. How can one know if the feelings are relaxed?
A. A sense of calmness. That calmness pervades the whole body. No particular feeling is held onto, or centered in a specific region, as this will arouse tension. In my case, relaxation of the feelings would be gradual widening in my feelings and movement downwards until my feet felt quite thick; then there would be a release of energy through the soles of my feet, and what remained was a sense of calmness/peace. And a check of the degree of relaxation of the feelings is the sense of well-being that you feel. This well being ayem (I); bahagia (I) is not enjoyment or pleasure.
The feelings are usually swaying between happiness (senang) and sadness (susah). Relaxed feelings are neutral/well-being (bahagia), and not affected by the extremes of feeling. For example, when you are ill, your body feels sick and it effects your feelings (you don’t feel good). However, if your body feels relaxed and calm, yet your feelings are experiencing sadness, then the difference between the feeling of the body and the feeling of the feeling is clear. But usually both the feelings influence each other.
However some people can separate these two feelings so they don’t affect each other. This is not common and this separation usually has a time limit. For example, some people have sick bodies but that doesn’t affect the feeling of the feelings.
When you have a feeling of sadness, as the feelings relax, that degree of sadness dissipates until it is gone and that which remains is the steady feeling of well-being. Well-being exists if you realize that man cannot free himself from happiness or sadness. Instead of over-extending or grasping for a feeling (senang) if we can be grateful for what we have achieved then our energy won’t be focused on ‘car’, ‘enak’ and a sense of well-being exist, won’t be too happy or too sad.


Kratonan, Wed. 10.08.83


--Begin by relaxing the physical body.
--The intention is to have a good meditation but don’t force.
 Allaaaaaaah   (2 times)
--Physical relaxation is awareness that the physical body is completely here. We are aware at each moment that the physical body is here.
--Being here now means not only the physical body is here but the attention is here also.
 Allaaaaaaah   (10 times)
--Continue now by relaxing the feelings. That means relaxing the emotions and ambitions.
 Allaaaaaaah   (3 times)
--When feelings are relaxed, we are able to contemplate on ourselves and we clearly know our thoughts, emotions, attention etc. area really here.
 Allaaaaaaah   (7 times)
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--Slowly return to daily meditation.
--If you have a feeling to do something (not rational) then it is good to follow that intuition, because even though you may be wrong, by following the feeling you learn to tune into your intuition and you will learn what is the correct feeling.

Q.:  Can you use that same feeling for choosing the correct number in the lottery?
A.:  The answer is no. Because desire/will is involved and that will influence your reading of that feeling. For example, in the past I also used to look for the lottery number. At one time, the number 532 rose up inside me. The correct number was 44, which can be read as 5+3=8:2=4 (twice).
If man could be clean he could always be right. But man cannot always be clean. So he will also make mistakes. The clever man is correct most of the time but not all the time. For example, generally I can be correct in my checking, but mistakes are also made (often preceded by a feeling of hesitation). And I don’t say I am correct as a guard against the ego (pride).
In the past when I was checking, the answer was very clear and exact, but the danger was that my ego became involved. Now it is different. Now I receive spontaneity, where as before I would witness the whole process. And now those spontaneities are often correct, without the danger of pride because it is not from myself but given to me.

Q. How can you lessen the ego?
A. Thought habit. In the past I enjoyed being sensitive to my feelings. But over a period the enjoyment disappeared. It became a habit and than helps to lessen the ego. In the past I often gave advice without being asked, but now I don’t receive information without being asked. I also used to use ‘magic’ to influence the vibrations. (Used my hands, people used to bring objects i.e. keris… for checking). I can’t do that anymore because that was only for my own pleasure. And not as service to others. In the past I don’t like to checker experiences from Parangtritis because that would jolt my memory and my own experiences there would come back. When using magic, we must be careful of the ego. Magic tends to strengthen it.


--We have the same intention and aim.
 Allaaaaaaah   (10 times)
--Relax more the direction is downwards. The attention is spread throughout the body. Feel the whole body.
 Allaaaaaaah   (27 times)
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.
--In the second part of the meditation a special energy was given, according to the needs of the meeting. It reminded me of previous experience where my head felt like a cross-section of a banana trunk. Many small holes which were like wires.

(Tony): Often in standing meditations I experience a feeling of gratitude and humility; a sense that I can do nothing. Is this self-suggestion or a self-induced habit or, is this a common experience in standing meditation?
A.:  I often feel the same. But the important thing is that at the moment of gratitude, how was the feeling? I’ll try to contact the experience in you. Don’t regard it as a habit but go deeper so the process may continue. Be one with me. Feel devotion, both in the spirit and the person.
--Submission according to your own customs. What is important is that the direction is towards serving the Almighty God.
--For humanity…
--This is a request, but we accept whatever happens.
--An appeal to God for service to humanity.
 Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

(Tony):  It was as if the meditation was not as sure/steady as usual. This felt as if the ego was not so sure of itself. It felt insignificant and small. Then emotion was rose up, a sense of guilt/wrong.
(Pak Wondo): This is important that the ego was unsteady. It will become thinner and thinner and then only function as a tool. Be grateful for this. Please correct me and be honest so then reality can shoe if you are right or not.
(Tony):  I felt if Pak Wondo pushed a little more the process of destining/dissolving the ego would advance. It seems that I was taken to the edge, wavered and came back. Perhaps a push over the edge would have been better.
(Pak Wondo):  This my experience (internal crying). I held onto this, so it didn’t show on the outside. The desire to cry was a deep sense of gratitude. If you can continue this experience it will help to mature the spirit. I’m laughing now but in fact I am still crying. This sense of gratitude should be experienced as deeply as possible (without trying to create the situation on purpose) And it will start a process of breaking down the ego.
Although we feel separate, if we reach a certain level then a feeling of being connected with others will be experienced.
Gratitude leads to a releasing/cleansing because regardless of the reason if we are moved emotionally in this way, then a breaking down of the ego will occur. The ego no longer acts as the leader but as another tool. We do not break down the ego but it is broken down. This experience is not for any one person, but rather for a sense of oneness between people.
A surrendering to our situation.
Confession and then gratitude. The ego will dissolve by itself. If we put effort into this process, then it means the higher ego is destroying the lesser ego. By surrendering the process will be given.
In daily meditation this same process happens when we confess and recognize our own limits. For example, at the time when I was attracted to pretty girls although I knew my looking (lust) at them was wrong, I continued and often got a headache which took my attention away from the girls and on my own pain. Nature forced me to overcome my weakness. If I lessen my looking (lust) then I was able to tolerate Nature warnings.
If it was natural, then it wouldn’t matter, but it was excessive. Now it doesn’t matter. I still look and appreciate pretty girls but without the lust that I experienced before.
If you are having a problem, being natural is to admit to yourself that you are having that problem, but rather accept it as a natural condition. In Indonesia now the young people seem to run away from their situation. They chose pleasure but don’t want to confront sadness.
After you experience something deeper than usual in the meditation (i.e. destroying of the ego) when you come back to your normal state, don’t feel disappointment or anger but accept that this is your real state/level.
--It is very important to admit openly when my ego is involved as a practice in honesty even though I sometimes feel embarrassed to confess my fault.
When I am acting or want to act because of my ego, I sometimes receive a warning from inside. This warning doesn’t occur through contemplation but rather as a spontaneity at some point curing the process of wanting to do and doing. Contemplation is rather an internal discussion between the tools through feeling (not thought). This spontaneous feeling is deeper and cleaner than contemplation.

Kratonan, Wed. no date



  --Prepare yourself first.

    Allaaaaaaah   (66 times)
   Rahayu   -   Rahayu    -    Rahayu

  --I don’t know if the mantra has its source always in the same place; and only word is the same. I think the place varies according to what is needed in the environment.

  (Check meditation)   (Laura) – According to me, the sound and place of Pak Wondo’s mantra is the same; but we gradually enter into deeper states.

  Pak Wondo: Actually the mantra is a means of preparing us for the position from which meditation begins. It’s not me, but nature that helps. The mantra prepares us so we are able to receive anything given by nature. The mantra can be a means of correction for the pamong himself, and I often used when he receives a spontaneity from inside telling him not to use explanations. As we go deeper in the meditation, there will be an increase in energy. The used-up energy will be changed into a new energy.

  --Exhaling helps to overcome any blocks felt during the meditation. The mantra also serves this purpose.


(If you don’t feel strong, just sit down)

Allaaaaaaah (13 times)

Allaaaaaaah(8 times)

--Fill yourself with trust in God, in the greatness of nature, in the Law of Nature. Be aware that you cannot escape from the Law of Nature.

Allaaaaaaah(8 times)

--We are grateful to God, we are given enjoyment, given life from Nature.

Allaaaaaaah(13 times)

--And we want to change that attitude within us that is contrary to Nature. The intention is to adjust and to follow this Law of Nature.

Allaaaaaaah(48 times)

Rahayu   -   Rahayu    -    Rahayu

  --If the tools are aware, allow them to adjust themselves to the situation; to the meditation. Just be grateful.
  --The balance is maintained by new energy replacing the used-up energy, in order that we don’t feel tired.
  --Continue with your daily meditation as deeply as possible. Try to unite yourself with the group. Be aware that no difference exists between you and the group.


  Be comfortable. ……
Don’t force. If you feel the meditation has finished just move into to the process of surrendering in daily meditation. We learn that there is little difference between special and daily meditation.


Laura: (meditation check)     --In the standing meditation, I felt there was stronger energy than usual and a certain hardness, so that I was told to apologize, to be thankful. In this meditation, there was also a strong energy, but it was broader, not so hard. After entering to the meditation, I became afraid because suddenly something started to rise up. It was strange. It felt like electricity…..
A.: --It was the opening of the chakra in the abdomen area. As I explained before if special and daily meditation are not different; if the front and the back have no separation; if the spirit and desires have no separation, then the feeling of something rising will occur. That something is not emotion or ambition which rises when there still is separation. When the chakra in the abdomen, heart and throat areas open, then that is Sumarah. Be careful, because if what is rising is not clean, it becomes concentration. This is because what is rising is not an awareness of spirit but desire.
--The pamong is not a person, but an energy given by God at a certain time and place.
--If a child has a problem/difficulty then is the responsibility of his parents. That is one Law of Nature that cannot be avoided. ---    We cannot live alone.


Kratonan, Wed. no date

 -Q. How can you know if the desire is positive or negative?
 -A. From experience we can know if the desire is positive or negative. Actually we do know beforehand, but we are unaware. As we develop awareness; as we go deeper into meditation, we will know. And it is the same with pleasure and displeasure.


 -Try to enter more into the process. The process involves entering and coming out, entering and coming out. It’s like this now. Continue. When you come out, be aware and enter again into this process of daily meditation. If you come out, don’t be disappointed or angry because then it will be more difficult to enter again. It is good now, although it is still not completely correct. It is as if we are non-active, although we are still active.


 -( Tony):  The difference seems to be that all the tools have two parts. One part being influenced by desire, and one part without the influence of desire. And it is good if we can be happy using those tools without desire, but then a condition of boredom will arise.

 -(Pak Wondo):  No. That is what you are afraid of. Desire is desire and also has a positive aspect. Desire also has a limit, for example, with food. If the desire to eat is without limits, then you will have a stomachache. Although eating, and the desire for that, has a good effect; if it is done excessively then obviously there will be a negative effect. The same applies to the sexual desire. Although if  you are still young, excessiveness is not as heavy as when you get older. There is a need for these desires, but beware of the limits.
 -Know the limits so that you are in balance. Be aware of the needs of the body now. Medicine is good for us, but an overdose isn’t. Learn how to guard or maintain this sense of balance. Although you won’t be exact, become close with this sense of balance.

 -Q.  If everything has a positive and negative aspect, what is the negative aspect of the pure feeling?

 -A.  Lack of comparison. You are unable to experience the good and the bad, to know the difference. If you experience something negative, and you know it, then that sense of comparison will act as a stimulus for change. In pure feeling, there is a lack of comparison and so a lack of stimulus. And also if you are not aware (don’t know) if what you are experiencing is positive or negative, then that lack can act as an obstruction. For example, to be helpful is good – positive. But if that attitude of helping becomes pleasurable because you like to receive thanks from others, then it is limited. On the other side, if you have done something bad, and you realize the negativity of your actions, then you will try to change by creating good karma. Good action has a negative aspect, and bad action has a positive aspect. Suffering brings about a realization which arouses the stimulus to change. So suffering has a positive and negative aspect.

 -Q.  If you have a positive experience, then there can be a negative effect, i.e. expectation; and that acts as an obstruction. An obstruction for what?

 -A.  The path of spirituality. If the ego is unaware, then it will create illusions. The illusion of cleverness etc.

 -Q.  What if don’t want to follow the meditation any longer, and discard those practices that have been learned, do I also lose the sensitivity?
 -A.  Over a long period it will be lost. The process is the same whether you study the meditation or not, but what always changes is the awareness. For example, as humans we must suffer. Suffering is part of the fate of man. So whether you follow meditation or not you will still suffer. Only the response will be different. For many who are unaware of this, they suppose that by changing the external situation – getting money, getting married – they will alleviate their suffering; but it will only move to something else.


 -Remember that your spirituality also has needs. Even if you want to discard your meditation you may be forced to continue with it if the spiritual need is strong. The process of living and life are the same. Light and dark are the same. We study meditation not to get rid of anything but to become aware of this paradox. If we are in a state of balance, suffering, sadness, pleasure, are states we experience, but without being pulled out of that balance. Later, contentment will be found in that state. It’s not boring.
 -For example, in the past, if I was alone in the house, I wasn’t happy. I asked, “what is the beauty, the happiness of being here alone?” Then if I want out side the state would remain. Changing the external situation don’t change what is happening inside.


 -For example, if I am at work and I feel lazy, then something will push me out of state, and if I feel happy, then something will warn me not only to look for this. The enthusiasm will not lessen, only the direction will change.

 -Q.  What is awareness, and how can we be aware of awareness?

 -A.  There are different degrees of awareness. Thought-awareness, feeling-awareness, spiritual-awareness, and true-awareness. First, know the thought awareness; know what is good and bad according to your ability, and this will help you to know the Law of Nature, including customs. Use the tool of thought first. And often you know what is right and wrong, but this is colored by desired and you are not yet aware.
 And the sign of being aware of awareness is if you can develop communication with the spontaneities that arise; the communication not only being agreement, but it may be in opposition to what has arisen – is contrary to desire.


 -Q.  What is the difference between the Law of Nature, and the law of custom?

 -A.  We try to adjust to custom first we obey the custom first, even if we feel it is wrong. We bow to the custom we don’t offend others. Then an awareness will develop concerning that custom. If you become angry or rebel against the custom of your environment, then you will be left out (thrown out) of that environment. If you don’t feel strong enough to tolerant a certain custom, don’t enter that environment. It depends on the situation and condition. Know your limits. If you want to look at an environment but not follow the tradition, then there is a danger.
 Customs change, and what we enjoy changes. So something may become tolerable in time. For example, not liking soccer in Brazil, where the past-time has become a tradition, would cause a lot of suffering.
Kratonan, Wed. no date

Prepare yourself first.
 Try to relax the physical body first as a preparation for meditation.
 Relax those parts which are still tense from the top to the bottom.
 Try to correct yourself. Check whether your body, your feelings, your thoughts and your attention is here.
  Allaaaaaaah    (5 times)
 The direction should be downwards.
 The attention is not just focused in the upper area but is throughout the whole body; till the feet.
  Allaaaaaaah    (3 times)
 Now, try not only to relax the physical body but also to relax the feelings.
  Allaaaaaaah    (12 times)
 Lessen the thought activity.
  Allaaaaaaah    (2 times)
 Don’t try to follow or pay attention to the information or advice, which is given but just allow the process of experience to receive the advice.
 We are ‘one’ here in this meeting, and ‘one’ with the pamong.
  Allaaaaaaah    (4 times)
 Just follow the process with awareness; with feeling, not with thought.
  Allaaaaaaah   (1 time)
 Don’t force anything just go slowly. If you feel you have become tense, stop the meditation because that is the limit of your ability.
  Allaaaaaaah    (7 times)
 If you can; try to give yourself up completely, just surrender completely.
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.

 -Q. What were your experiences during the meditation?
 It can be divided into 3 stages; the beginning, the middle and the end.
 Although the meditation was one, the signs and experiences for each of us were different. It’s not possible for them to be the same. The feelings were also different, although in essence they are the same.

 (Ruth) During that meditation, I was easily able to enter and go down although I felt something rise again. At that moment, when the advice was to surrender completely, I felt a if I was floating.
 A. It’s like this. Just accept the advice, but don’t try to grasp or understand it. You were able to enter easily at the beginning because it was your own meditation and later when you were to become ‘one’ / together with the group you were influenced by the different levels of meditation.
 For example, if you feel the meditation is not so good, just accept it first of all. This is the lesson. If you try too much to find out where something is coming from (e.g. unpleasantness in a meditation) then this is not good because it will cause suffering. The lesson is just to accept the situation and not question whether it is from inside or outside.


 Although we all want to go to a deeper level in our meditation, don’t force. This is the ‘will’, which is forcing and the result will be a reaction against what you are pushing down. Gradually your own system will form. As I stated before, don’t pay too much attention to the advice given because only some of it is suitable for you and some isn’t.
 Don’t try to be too precise.
 For example, I may be giving the same advice but using different words and if you are paying too much attention to the words then you will miss the meaning.

 Although the words are the same and the advice is correct, maybe the source is different and the vibrations will hit different areas within you. If the vibrations are coming from thought, your thoughts will be hit; if the vibrations are coming from feelings, then you will be hit in the feelings, and if they come from a deeper space then you will be hit there. Often if the feelings have been hit, an intellectual understanding will only come later.


 Don’t try to lessen desire with desire.
 For example, if I want to lessen my anger through anger. The anger will arise again. Lessen your desire through confession. You admit the extent of your anger. Don’t try to use anger to stop it. Desire is different from emotion, in that it’s O.K. to want something but you must to conscious of the Law. If your want is too big;- to reach out to the moon, to embrace the mountain; of course, you won’t achieve it. So keep an eye on whether success can be realized in your wish. Otherwise you will only create disappointment.



--Don’t be in a hurry. Move first as a way of relaxing. Allow the nerves to align themselves correctly.
  Allaaaaaaah    (25 times)
--If there is still a little movement in your body, just let it go, don’t try to stop it, as long as the movement’s not too great.
  Allaaaaaaah    (20 times)
--Just follow the process. If you feel vibrations, don’t stop or change.
  Allaaaaaaah    (15 times)
  Rahayu, Rahayu, Rahayu.


 Change the atmosphere now, without trying to change anything. What changes is your attitude. A change in attitude will bring about a change in atmosphere. When you are too centered upon yourself then a change in atmosphere is needed.


 Sometimes, we are given an atmosphere, which is good for meditation, sometimes an atmosphere which is not good and sometimes it’s good for some and not for others. However the lesson is to learn to accept the condition whatever it may be. Our feelings will involved they will be influenced but don’t allow the awareness to be influenced.
 For example, as individuals we may not have problems and feel calm or we may have problems and feel tense, however the awareness should be steady throughout. And our feelings can influence the group. Also, because our levels and conditions are not the same then we will influence and be influenced by each other. Sometimes, we don’t influence each other if we are given energy from nature, which neutralizes the atmosphere or an energy that sharpens or cleanses our awareness.
 Although our meditation today is different from yesterday’s and will be different from tomorrow’s, the important factor is the acceptance of our condition through awareness. We study so that our awareness is not easily shaken.

 Q.  Is awareness a tool for acceptance or as a means to change?
 For example, if I dislike Pak Wondo I can easily avoid him by not coming here but by going to another pamong instead. Or should I come and try to accept my dislike.

 A.  This question is important. If you can avoid a situation, or are not strong to face something; it’s OK. But if you hate your family or even yourself, are you able to avoid the situation? Nature sometimes forces you to face situation, which you would like to avoid. Be aware of your limits. If you need to avoid someone it’s OK. But also remember that meditation trains you to be strong person.
 Also, pay attention to what is needed. If you must go to the post office today although you will be disturbed by people on the way, then it cannot be put off. That is your lesson. There is a risk involved but don’t be afraid to face risk. If the need is not strong to go the post office today, then leave it for another time.
 Don’t reject the risk (danger), but it’s all right to lessen it. Often if there is only a little risk, we don’t want to do something. Man cannot live without risk; you should realize this. But you can try to lessen the risk.